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What has made me LAUGH today?

Anonymous
Not applicable

Heard the one about the cat that ran up the chimney? ffs / lolz

 

My lad rings me about 7pm = unusual, as this comes under 'Quality time with his missus'

We have a chat about finalizing arrangements for me to see him tomorrow in the suburbs of Leeds 

We come up with a plan

I enquire after my daughter-in-law & after their new 6 year old rescue cat Juno

He's run up the chimney mum Cat Tongue

Has it been cleaned I ask

No says son

They've recently moved into their 1st own house = built late 1930's

I ask is he covered in soot ... is he black

Well, says son, he is grey ... now Juno is a white / black cat

How did you clean him asks I

He's cleaned himself mum

Discussion follows about pet wipes as my ginger / white cat Marty's white bits are looking distinctly grubby

50 + 50 + 50 shades of grey ... oh yes ... there is soot grey now 

& we all thought of *as black as soot* ... 

*Titters* LOL

 

fyi ... yes, there are days (I don't count them, deliberately so) when I have sweet FA to laugh about Cat

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pgn
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A weasel walks into a bar. The Bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before. What can I get you?"

"Pop," goes the weasel.


😂
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dgilbert2
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Why did the student eat his homework?

Because the teacher told him it was a piece of cake!

D'oh!

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pgn
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Haha! Never get one like that in a Christmas cracker, @dgilbert2cool

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Anonymous
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Had an argument with the plumber over a quote, well I say argument, it was more of a heated discussion.....

 

fared better with the window cleaner about cleaning the gutters, but then his pricing has always been transparent.

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jonsie
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@Anonymous wrote:

Had an argument with the plumber over a quote, well I say argument, it was more of a heated discussion.....

 

fared better with the window cleaner about cleaning the gutters, but then his pricing has always been transparent.


nice ones LOL

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jonsie
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This

BREAKING: Wayne Rooney 'arrested for public intoxication in Washington'

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Cleoriff
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@jonsie wrote:

This

BREAKING: Wayne Rooney 'arrested for public intoxication in Washington'



Is that it? What did he do when he was drunk?....or can you just be arrested for being drunk in Washington? Confused

Veritas Numquam Perit

Girl in a jacket
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jonsie
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https://www.mirror.co.uk/sport/football/news/breaking-wayne-rooney-arrested-public-13821006

He was arrested by the Metropolitan Washington Airport Authority for a class four misdemeanour before being released without bail.

A hearing was due to take place on January 24, but this has been waived after he paid a €25 fine with €91 costs earlier this month.

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jonsie
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According to a US reporter, the ace was arrested over "public swearing and intoxication" on December 16 by the Washington Airport Authority.

 Wayne Rooney - pictured in his mugshot - was arrested in America for public intoxication and swearing

 

Mugshot above

https://www.thesun.co.uk/sport/football/8132829/wayne-rooney-arrested-for-public-intoxication-and-sw...

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MI5
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@jonsie wrote:

According to a US reporter, the ace was arrested over "public swearing and intoxication" on December 16 by the Washington Airport Authority.

 Wayne Rooney - pictured in his mugshot - was arrested in America for public intoxication and swearing

 

 

There We Are Then LOL

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