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Christmas Cracker jokes

Mi-Amigo
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Ho ho ho - or should that be "groan, groan, groan"?

It`s Christmas and the time for pulling Christmas crackers...

Why not come and share your favourite - and worst - Christmas Cracker jokes here...

 

To kick this off:

What motorbike does Santa ride?

A Holly Davidson  

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Girl in a jacket


Some people see things as they are and ask "Why?"; I dream of things that never were and ask "Why not?"
Robert Kennedy.

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Cleoriff
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They are all bad but here you go

 

What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?

"It's Christmas, Eve"

 

I said it was bad so you were warned

Veritas Numquam Perit

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pgn
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Q: Why is Santa not worried about falling ill on Christmas Eve?

 

A: He has Elf insurance! 

 

Boom boom. 

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Mi-Amigo
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Who is Santa`s favourite singer?

 

Elf-is Presley

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Girl in a jacket


Some people see things as they are and ask "Why?"; I dream of things that never were and ask "Why not?"
Robert Kennedy.

Message 4 of 16
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Cleoriff
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What carol is heard in the desert?

"Oh Camel you faithful'

Veritas Numquam Perit

Girl in a jacket
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Mi-Amigo
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What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?

Christmas Quackers

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Girl in a jacket


Some people see things as they are and ask "Why?"; I dream of things that never were and ask "Why not?"
Robert Kennedy.

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Cleoriff
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Why did the turkey join the band?

A: Because he had the drumsticks....

Veritas Numquam Perit

Girl in a jacket
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pgn
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Office Party Crackers have a lot to answer for:

 

Q. How is Christmas just like any other day at the office?


A. You do a bunch of work and some fat guy in a suit gets all the credit. 

 

 

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Cleoriff
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Q: How does Darth Vader like his Turkey?

A: On the Dark Side.... rolling_eyes

Veritas Numquam Perit

Girl in a jacket
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Mi-Amigo
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Why won`t Santa be coming down the chimney this year?

Not allowed, due to a Claus in Elf & Safety Rules 

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Girl in a jacket


Some people see things as they are and ask "Why?"; I dream of things that never were and ask "Why not?"
Robert Kennedy.

Message 10 of 16
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