This whole thing has been used as a stick to beat up Apple/people who like their products.
I agree that their biggest mistake was not stating up front what they were doing. To be caught or outed by a 3rd party is a little embarrassing.
One of the accessories that I purchased not long after getting my (at the time) new phone were a couple of spare batteries to avoid the issue of running out of power, so yes replacing the battery is/was never free for anyone.
Most manufacturers only provide updates for a limited time - in part because older tech may not cope with new software, but also to try and drive new sales. Who doesn't like shiny new things - whether that is new hardware or new software?
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