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Posts: 72,627
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Registered: ‎14-01-2013

What It's like to be British :)

I saw this, it made me laugh so here goes ....

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What It's Like To Be British

 

• Worrying you’ve accidentally packed 3 kilos of cocaine and a dead goat as you stroll through “Nothing to declare”

• Being unable to stand and leave without first saying “right”

• Not hearing someone for the third time, so just laughing and hoping for the best

• Saying “anywhere here’s fine” when the taxi’s directly outside your front door

• Being sure to start touching your bag 15 minutes before your station, so the person in the aisle seat is fully prepared for your exit

• Repeatedly pressing the door button on the train before it’s illuminated, to assure your fellow commuters you have the situation in hand

• Having someone sit next to you on the train, meaning you’ll have to eat your crisps at home
• The huge sense of relief after your perfectly valid train ticket is accepted by the inspector

• The horror of someone you only half know saying: “Oh I’m getting that train too”

• “Sorry, is anyone sitting here?” – Translation: Unless this is a person who looks remarkably like a bag, I suggest you move it

• Loudly tapping your fingers at the cashpoint, to assure the queue that you’ve asked for money and the wait is out of your hands

• Looking away so violently as someone nearby enters their PIN that you accidentally dislocate your neck

• Waiting for permission to leave after paying for something with the exact change

• Saying hello to a friend in the supermarket, then creeping around like a burglar to avoid seeing them again

• Watching with quiet sorrow as you receive a different haircut to the one you requested

• Being unable to pay for something with the exact change without saying “I think that’s right”

• Overtaking someone on foot and having to keep up the uncomfortably fast pace until safely over the horizon

• Being unable to turn and walk in the opposite direction without first taking out your phone and frowning at it

• Deeming it necessary to do a little jog over zebra crossings, while throwing in an apologetic mini wave

• The overwhelming sorrow of finding a cup of tea you forgot about

• Turning down a cup of tea for no reason and instantly knowing you’ve made a terrible, terrible mistake

• Suddenly remembering your tea and necking it like a massive, lukewarm shot

• Realising you’ve got about fifty grand’s worth of plastic bags under your kitchen sink

• “You’ll have to excuse the mess” – Translation: I’ve spent seven hours tidying in preparation for your visit

• Indicating that you want the last roast potato by trying to force everyone else to take it

• “I’m off to bed” – Translation: “I’m off to stare at my phone in another part of the house”

• Mishearing somebody’s name on the second time of asking, meaning you must now avoid them forever

• Running out of ways to say thanks when a succession of doors are held for you, having already deployed ‘cheers’, ‘ta’ and ‘nice one’

• Changing from ‘kind regards’ to just ‘regards’, to indicate that you’re rapidly reaching the end of your tether

• Staring at your phone in silent horror until the unknown number stops ringing

• Hearing a recording of your own voice and deciding it’s perhaps best never to speak again

• The relief when someone doesn’t answer their phone within three rings and you can hang up

• Filming an entire fireworks display on your phone, knowing full well you’ll never, ever watch it again

 

Pretty accurate really rofl

*The Game Is On*


Posts: 88,115
Topics: 532
Registered: ‎04-04-2012

Re: What It's like to be British :)

Funny Smiley Happy
I have no affiliation whatsoever with O2 or any subsidiary companies. Comments posted are entirely of my own opinion. This is not Customer Service so we are unable to help with account specific issues.

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Posts: 72,627
Topics: 684
Registered: ‎14-01-2013

Re: What It's like to be British :)

I've done the last 3 a few times. (As well as the first one when walking through customs) No idea why they make you feel so damn guilty !! LOL

*The Game Is On*


Level 63: Greatness Assured
Posts: 12,553
Registered: ‎31-03-2010

Re: What It's like to be British :)

Very good @Cleoriff. I can admit to most of those. I'm not British, but I lived there long enough to acquire those traits!

I DO NOT WORK FOR O2

Posts: 72,627
Topics: 684
Registered: ‎14-01-2013

Re: What It's like to be British :)

I loved this one as well

 

Looking away so violently as someone nearby enters their PIN that you accidentally dislocate your neck

 

Not that you do dislocate your neck, but the concept is the same LOL

*The Game Is On*


Level 41: Prodigal
Posts: 3,831
Registered: ‎26-03-2014

Re: What It's like to be British :)

Have seen them before but all so true!
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Posts: 13,174
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Registered: ‎14-01-2014

Re: What It's like to be British :)

Pretty accurate to be fair, guilty of more than a few lololol


Posts: 5,213
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Registered: ‎13-02-2019

Re: What It's like to be British :)

Brilliant @Cleoriff 

I am not going to own up to and admit which I have done...

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Some people see things as they are and ask "Why?"; I dream of things that never were and ask "Why not?"...
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Level 26: Upbeat
Posts: 3,573
Registered: ‎03-08-2018

Re: What It's like to be British :)

OMG  @Cleoriff 

 

LOL



Posts: 7,181
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Registered: ‎11-04-2012

Re: What It's like to be British :)

Hmm. Yes. Very Victor Meldrew! 🤣
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