Strictly 2022

[sheepdog]

Seems its that time of the year when the BBC license tax earns it's value by making me watch Saturday night TV in the main room. Yes, Strictly Come Dancing is back on our screens with the usual list of "celebs"!

Starting with failed pop star turned relatively successful actress and grandmother, it's none other than Kym Marsh with probably a show to promote in between:

Not to be outdone, second on the list is jobbing soap actor and failed pop singer (oh the 90's had so many forgettable acts, cue exhibit 1): Will Mellor

Lets see what tomorrow brings us in the surface analysis of celebrity barrel sampling.

Also 4 new pros to be shoved in the background replacing Aljaz & Oti. No change in the judges other than Bruno will no longer be in the cupboard at all making Anton permanent. Guess we're still getting Craig and Shirley and probably a guest judge as well at some point. Unfortunately the BBC won't get rid of TessBot & Grimace so yet again, the teleprompter will be in full effect with Christmas cracker jokes. 

On the other hand, the Masked Dancer is slated for an autumn release this year. 

[sheepdog]

Week 4 and after last weeks er, themes, this could have either been abysmal or good or even fantastic. For once, it was fantastic. 

So Tess in a red Anton suit, Claudia is some sort of dress in black, Shirley with a pineapple on her head, Motsi with walnut whips on her head. Which kind of masked what she was wearing. Anton showing off his NTA. Craig actually spoke lots of words without being nasty. 

Ellie and Nikita: I Love Your Smile and it will make you smile. Solid opening, good routine ended up with a 30. 

Will and Nancy: Rumba. Oh dear, was ill for most of the week and it showed. Saved really by his acting ability and ended up with 23 but ends up being 2nd bottom on the leaderboard. Should have rang in sick. 

Matt and Nadiya: Jive. Improved and as usual, the 2nd half was better. In danger of being in the dance-off. Sadly, Dan Walker is going to be better than you. Scored 20 which may be a bit harsh. 

Jayde and Karen: American Smooth. Played the emo card. I'll give her this: she glided across the floor well. Other than that, all arm-ography and circles and very little to impress. Scored a vastly overmarked 31. 

Molly and Carlos: Cha Cha Cha. This. This is a winner all the way. Loved the routine and probably the best cha-cha for a long while. Scored a reasonable 35 though a touch under marked. Everyone else, please keep up if you can.

James and Amy: Quickstep. Compared to last week, wow, what a massive improvement. Scored very well and justified 32. 

Fleur and Vito: Argentine Tango. After last week, this week had to be big. Boy was it! Very much safe this week with a score of 38. To say it was her best dance so far is a bit of an understatement. Question now is, can she maintain this quality?

Kym and Graziano: Samba to Volare by Gipsy Kings. Enjoyable all the way through. Another one showing consistencies. Score of 32.

Tony and Katya: American Smooth. Talking of mega improvement, Tony pulled out quite a few stops tonight though with footwork issues and the lifts were good. Well done to Katya on this routine. Is he safe, well he may just be because he's more relatable and moves better than the £land GC. 26 and not bottom! Actually ended up 3rd from bottom so I think safe.

Hamza and Jowita: Salsa. I had my doubts on the arrangement of the Sash tune but fair play to DAO, this was a remix worthy of a release. As for the dance, biggest unexpected moment, no moments of the night! Ja ja ja Jowita for all of that routine because it was brilliantly relentless. Top score of the night at 39. Lets just forget about the rhumba from last week.

Helen and Gorka: Paso Doble. Hmm, Miss Consistent and a good dance for her. Went a bit flat at the end with the table stomping but agree with the judges in saying she needed more fire. Or as I said last week, less robotic. Scored 29 but is the £land GC's dance better? No not by far. Outside chance of being in the dance-off.

Ellie and Johannes: Viennese Waltz. Movie week was last week and by far this weeks outfit was the worse. Saying that, very little wrong and a marked improvement over the last 3. Borderline safe and it would be difficult for the judges to send her home. As with Fleur, consistency is the key now. 30 points scored. 

Tyler and Dianne: Couples' Choice. Was it good, yes, was it very good, of course. Was it as good as last week, no. Score about right at 37.

So my thoughts on the bottom two apart from the obvious Will and Matt, is Ellie S or T and Helen. Might be Will exiting as the others are far better this week. On the outside chance of the £land GC being there, she'd need to be against Will or Matt to survive. 

Oh its George Ezra for musical mediocrity act tomorrow. Now I like Budapest so if he does that, I'll be reasonably happy but we're more likely to get his new single (which isn't so bad):

[Cleoriff]

I cant stand George Ezra. Whatever he sings 😂

[Cleoriff]

Needless to say, I just loved the opening number. 

I fast forwarded through George Ezra as I can't stand him. Something wrong with his Mike I think!

In the dance off

Kym and Graziano (ridiculous!!)

Matt and Nadiya.

Next week we are celebrating 100 years of the BBC, so the music choices will be awful!!

[sheepdog]

Well he mumbled though didn't disgrace himself so a pass from me but John Legend is still the best of the MMA's so far. This bar is really low isn't it?

Anyway, Argentine Tango for the opening number which I barely watched due to an Artic Roll being cut up. Tess in flares? Are flares in season this year? Have flares been in season in any year? Claudia in toned down self tan with white jack on black. Colour blocking I think its called. 

Onto the bottom two and surprisingly, Kym ended up being there. Something isn't quite right with the voting this year. You could see the look of "I'm going home" when it came down to Matt and Will. Inevitably, although Matt did do a bit better it was nowhere near Kym so a 4-0 decision in favour of Kym.

Next week, oh and this must be one of the worst theme weeks ever, celebrates 100 years of the BBC. So because some moron thinks contestants will dance to anything thrown at them, we're getting dances to BBC shows. That right, Casualty, Dr Who and goodness knows the atrocities we'll have to endure next week. Molly hinted at kids so that's either Grange Hill or the more likely "Let's get ready to rumble" loosely linked to Byker Grove in her couples choice. James will be doing a rhumba to the Eastenders theme tune. At least that would be fun but not going to happen.  As a bonus, I won't be able to watch this live as I'm travelling and won't be back till late. 

And guess what week is the following week's theme. Sarcastic "yay" for Halloween week. 

[Cleoriff]

Just noticed I forgot to post who went home! Obviously Matt as it was his time.

@sheepdog,I won't be posting on Saturday either as it's F1 and Qualifying at the Circuit of the Americas. Sunday is race night so the results show will be recorded. 

[Cleoriff]

Dances for week 5 ....Good Grief!!

Ellie S & Nikita – Paso Doble to ‘Montagues and Capulets’ by Sergei Prokofiev’s Ballet – Romeo and Juliet (The Apprentice)

Ellie T & Johannes – Tango to ‘Casualty Theme Tune’ by Ken Freeman (Casualty)

Fleur & Vito – Jive to ‘Waterloo’ by Abba (Eurovision)

Helen & Gorka – Charleston to ‘Blue Peter Theme Tune’ by Mike Oldfield (Blue Peter)

Jayde & Karen – Charleston to ‘The Ballad Of Barry and Freda (Let’s Do It)’ by Victoria Wood (BBC Comedy – Victoria Wood)

Kym & Graziano – Quickstep to ‘Ballroom Blitz’ by Sweet (Come Dancing)

Molly & Carlos – Couples’ Choice to ‘Grange Hill Theme Tune’ by Alan Hawkshaw (BBC Children’s – Grange Hill)

Hamza & Jowita – Quickstep to ‘On Top Of The World’ by Imagine Dragons (BBC Nature Programming)

James & Amy – Foxtrot to ‘Julia’s Theme / EastEnders Theme Tune’ by Simon May & Leslie Osborne (EastEnders)

Tony & Katya – Cha Cha to ‘Grandstand Theme Tune’ by Keith Mansfield (BBC Sport – Grandstand)

Tyler & Dianne – Tango to ‘Doctor Who Theme Tune’ by Segun Akinola (Doctor Who)

Will & Nancy – Viennese Waltz to ‘Line Of Duty End Titles’ by Carly Paradis (Line Of Duty)

Bit shocked to see a Viennese Waltz danced to the end titles of my favourite TV show, The Line Of Duty

I can't think of one tune in Line Of Duty which would lend itself to the V/W

[sheepdog]

I think I'll be watching the highlights on youtube at double speed looking at that monstrosity. Whoever gets booted off this week should be demand a re-dance as it really is a poor week for everyone.  

[Cleoriff]

This is going to be quick as I kept flicking over to see if qualifying for F1 had started!

No idea what the judges were wearing so can only presume it was ok.

Helen and Gorka. Charleston to Blue Peter theme.  She was damn good this week (I did find out that her husband has has left her and is expecting a baby with his new woman) That's why Gorka said last week that Helen was the bravest woman he knew. Anyway she had really pulled herself out of the doldrums put on a pretty good show. Scored a well deserved 35.

Tyler and Dianne Tango Dr Who theme.  Both  danced well to a stupid theme. Transitions very good

Scored 32

Fleur and Vito Jive to Waterloo. Pretty damn good. Determined not to be in bottom 2 again. Scored 32

James and Amy Foxtrot to Eastenders theme, Posture poor although quite a good dance, Scored 26.

Ellie and Nikita. Paso Doble.  I thought it was poor but Shirley thought it was Absolutely phenomenal!

It was the worst Paso I've seen. Illegal lift Scored 30 (overmarked)

Mollie and Carlos Couples Choice to Grange Hill. Very poor for them. Far too safe. Scored 30

Hamza and Jowita Quickstep. On top of the World. Lovely dance. Scored 35

Eliie and Johannes. Tango. Casualty Theme. What i would call OK. A bit boring Scored 29

Will and Nancy Viennese Waltz. A good dance but problems with posture Scored32

Jayde and Karen Chaleston. Victoria Wood. She would be turning in her grave! Didn't like it at all Scored 28

Tony and Katya Cha Cha to Grandstand theme, Usual Tony tripe but he loves it and makes us laugh. Scored 19

Kim and Graziano. Quickstep to Come Dancing, Angela Rippon introduced it. Quite good but seemed so old fashioned. Quite obvious that Shirley doesnt like Kim. Scored 27.

That's it, I turned over before they told us the mediocre act on tonight

[Cleoriff]

So in the dance off :

Molly and Carlos and Jayde and Karen.

Jayde and Karen sent home (none of the judges voted for them)

Sorry, I had no idea who the female singing act was.

[sheepdog]

Having missed the Saturday night show, I opted to not see it after witnessing the highlights on the Sunday night. Awful outfits let alone the tunes though I may watch them over the week whilst on another conference call. Perhaps I should introduce Strictly style marking for management. 

As I watched the sunday night show on iPlayer...Tess - red hot poker, Claudia - black hole. Shirley still waiting on her specsavers appointment if she thinks the Bristol GC is the entertainer of the series. 

Needless to say there was no real reason to keep her in against a poor Molly routine. Again with the circles and arms but there is no energy to her dancing. Wait, was it supposed to be a charleston, the dance that's supposed to be high energy? Saying that, the outfit was pretty much something she'd want to forget she actually wore.

Molly's routine looked remarkably like Tilly Ramsey's Harry Potter one that coincidentally put her in the bottom two. For a couples choice it was one of the least watchable ones. Back to normal service next week. Oh wait its Halloween week so no. 

Onto the MMA. Who is Becky Hill? Seems she's done something on The Voice. I'm guessing with autotune. She seemed to attempt singing live and was worse off. Then again, attempting to dance with a bedsheet wrapped around her didn't help put anything to the tune. Awful act regardless and worthy holder of worst MMA of the series so far. Another in the new generation of TikTok musical acts who don't understand that your voice screeching all over the place to some monotone drum machine with random samples overlaid with even blander lyrics on repeat for 3 mins is not a song. Perhaps nobody wanted to point out nobody ever pays attention to the singer when the pro dancers are strutting about so don't play to the camera. Ever. 

Almost forgot, the opening number was in all honesty, a series of expletives that would break the forum swear-o-meter counter. And I forget, Halloween week's pro routine is usually a weird concoction. Mind you if Luba or Nadiya in green might make it memorable ❤️