Friday's Funny Finding

[pgn]

If Technology teaches us anything... 

Sometimes, the tried and tested ways are best. 

[pgn]

By request: How to give your cat a pill

1 - Remove one pill from foil wrap. Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

2 - Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

3 - Retrieve cat from bedroom. Throw soggy pill away.

4 - Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

5 - Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.

6 - Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.

7 - Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

8 - Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill inside end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

9 - Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink a beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and salt..

10 - Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard and close door on neck, leaving head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

11 - Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Swab cheek with scotch to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw tee-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

12 - Call fire brigade to retrieve the damned cat from tree across the road. Apologize to the neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last remaining pill from foil wrap.

13 - Tie the little monster's front paws to its rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table. Find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of steak fillet. Hold head vertically and pour 1/2 pint of water down throat to wash pill down.

14 - Consume remainder of scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.

15 - Arrange for ASPCA to collect the mutant cat from hell and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.

How to give a dog a pill:

1 - Wrap it in cheese.

[Cleoriff]

@pgn 

I've read this 3 times and it makes me laugh every time. 😂 😍

Mind you, I have had cats for years, so know how true this can be.(Although I've never called th ASPCA (RSPCA) to collect a 'mutant' cat. 😂

My current two cats will eat a pill in cheese as well. Although Lily must have warm cheese.

[gmarkj]

---

@pgn wrote:

How to give a dog a pill:

1 - Wrap it in cheese.

---

I use dog friendly peanut butter - she loves that stuff so much she'll take a pill coated in it!

[pgn]

A little humour to lighten @Martin-O2's and @Breanna's departure tomorrow 😎

So long, guys, Forum's gonna miss you! 👋

[jonsie]

---

@pgn wrote:

A little humour to lighten @Martin-O2's and @Breanna's departure tomorrow 😎

So long, guys, Forum's gonna miss you! 👋

---

Totally seconded

This community is changing....but not for the better I fear ☹️

[Cleoriff]

---

@jonsie wrote:

---

@pgn wrote:

A little humour to lighten @Martin-O2's and @Breanna's departure tomorrow 😎

So long, guys, Forum's gonna miss you! 👋

---

Totally seconded

This community is changing....but not for the better I fear ☹️

---

Definitely will be very much missed. Wishing @Martin-O2 and @Breanna all the very best for the future ❤️

[Breanna]

Hahahha just read through the entire "How to give a cat a pill" and I'm dying laughin. I believe my cat would agree that process would be favourable to my method of "hold him down, wedge open the maw and shove it in" 🤣

I am going to miss this being my day though. Loved making all the fun graphics and putting together the word scrambles and things--even that absolutely insane heart-shaped word search 😅

I know I haven't been able to do as much of the off-topic as was done in the past. You guys know it's just been insanely busy with all the migrations and whatnot happening. Wouldn't mind being tapped for a little off topic fun in the future though--I'll still have my account and won't be signing off after 5pm lol.

[Cleoriff]

That's great @Breanna. Lovely to hear you will be 'lurking about'.😂

Maybe one day you could whack up one of your word scrambles? I'm sure @Dave-O2  won't mind ❤️

We'll miss you here every day xxx

@BreannaI'm sure you were so busy, you and @Martin-O2 missed my post HERE about @Mi-Amigo?

[pgn]

A hero came to a village where
all the villagers were very upset, so the hero asked what was wrong. "There’s a huge dragon living on the mountain. Every week it comes down and eats one of our virgin girls,” a villager replied. The hero promised to help. By the time a month had elapsed, the dragon had starved to death.

[TallTrees]

like it @pgn