03-08-2022 10:12
03-08-2022 10:12
Chuckle as you read this...because as stupid as it may sound, this is us!
GOD to ST. FRANCIS:
Frank , you know all about gardens and nature.
What in the world is going on down there on the planet?
What happened to the dandelions, violets, milkweeds and stuff I started eons ago?
I had a perfect no-maintenance garden plan. Those plants grow in any type of soil, withstand drought and multiply with abandon.
The nectar from the long-lasting blossoms attracts butterflies, honey bees and flocks of songbirds.
I expected to see a vast garden of colors by now.
But, all I see are these green rectangles.
St. Francis
It’s the tribes that settled there, Lord.
The Suburbanites.
They started calling your flowers “weeds” and killed them and replaced them with grass.
GOD:
Grass?
But, it's so boring.
It's not colorful.
It doesn't attract butterflies, birds and bees; only grubs and sod worms.
It's sensitive to temperatures.
Do these Suburbanites really want all that grass growing there?
ST. FRANCIS:
Apparently so, Lord.
They go to great pains to grow it and keep it green.
They begin each spring by fertilizing grass and poisoning any other plant that crops up in the lawn.
GOD:
The spring rains and warm weather probably make grass grow really fast.
That must make the Suburbanites happy.
ST. FRANCIS:
Apparently not, Lord.
As soon as it grows a little, they cut it-sometimes twice a week.
GOD:
They cut it?
Do they then bale it like hay
ST. FRANCIS:
Not exactly, Lord.
They rake it up and put it in bags.
GOD:
They bag it? Why?
Is it a cash crop? Do they sell it?
St. Francis:
No Sir, just the opposite.
They pay to throw it away.
GOD:
Now, let me get this straight.
They fertilize grass so it will grow.
And when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it away?
ST. FRANCIS:
Yes, Sir.
GOD:
These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when we cut back on the rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the growth and saves them a lot of work.
ST. FRANCIS:
You aren't going to believe this, Lord.
When the grass stops growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to water it, so they can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it.
GOD:
What nonsense. At least they kept some of the trees.
That was a sheer stroke of genius, if I do say so myself.
The trees grow leaves in the spring to provide beauty and shade in the summer.
In the autumn, they fall to the ground and form a natural blanket
to keep moisture in the soil and protect the trees and bushes.
It's a natural cycle of life.
ST. FRANCIS:
You better sit down, Lord.
The Suburbanites have drawn a new cylce.
As soon as the leaves fall, they rake them into great piles and pay to have them hauled away .
GOD:
No!?
What do they do to protect the shrub and tree roots in the winter to keep the soil moist and loose?
ST. FRANCIS:
After throwing away the leaves, they go out and buy something which they call mulch.
They haul it home and spread it around in place of the leaves.
GOD:
And where do they get this mulch?
ST. FRANCIS:
They cut down trees and grind them up to make the mulch.
GOD:
Enough! I don't want to think about this anymore.
St. Catherine, you're in charge of the arts.
What movie have you scheduled for us tonight?
ST. CATHERINE:
“Dumb and Dumber”, Lord. It's a story about....
GOD: Never mind, I think I just heard the whole story from St. Francis.
03-08-2022 11:00
03-08-2022 11:00
03-08-2022 11:06 - edited 03-08-2022 11:33
03-08-2022 11:06 - edited 03-08-2022 11:33
@TallTrees So true it hurts! Some of my neighbours like to get on me for my "wild" garden but who wants to be cutting the grass every other day?!
03-08-2022 11:33
03-08-2022 11:33
Just brilliant (and sad). Getting rid of the wildflowers and the wildlife.
It gets worse when they chop down swathes of trees in the Amazon Rain Forest and plant palm trees.
The Surburbanites have never heard of climate change.
They are thick. As you said...Dumber and Dumber 😂
Veritas Numquam Perit
03-08-2022 11:37
@Cleoriff A month or so ago they mowed down this amazing swathe of wild flowers along the path nearby.
The massive number of ladybugs, bees, and spiders was incredible (especially considering the huge decline insects in recent years).
All of it would have self-seeded had it only been left there but now they've replaced it with grass!
03-08-2022 12:17
03-08-2022 12:17
Hi there @Breanna
I have a lawn (I think) but no mow May the grass is long and seeding and the little birds love it.
My lawn runs in between beds of trees and plants they hide in these. Grass hasn't grown because of drought the mouse was out this morning on front eats up bird seed. 😊
03-08-2022 12:18
03-08-2022 12:18
03-08-2022 12:26
We try and do our bit in our garden.
We have two bedding areas where we always "plant" wild flowers (the shaker boxes you get in garden centres) as well as having some other planters with flowers in.
We also have a bird feeder (which gets ignored) and a squirrel feeder which gets topped up regularly as both squirrels and birds use it!
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03-08-2022 12:31
03-08-2022 12:31
That sounds good @gmarkj
I love wild flowers.
The rear of my garden is a forest so pretty wild flowers snub it.
Don't blame them.
The Council have taken to putting wildflowers by the road side grass verges and that is wonderful.
They can make such a difference with some wildflower seeds there and it is so pretty too.
03-08-2022 12:35
I really think it's down to councils. Ours is pretty good. They asked schools to let the school kids throw seed bombs in the outside of the fields. Volunteers have done the same at the edge of the grass by the roads,
Looks lovely.
Veritas Numquam Perit
03-08-2022 13:43
03-08-2022 13:43