Joke Thread

[MI5]

I couldn't remember if there is a joke thread on here or not, so I'll stick these in (move if necessary)....

A woman goes into Discount Fishing Supplies  to buy a rod and reel for her grandson's  birthday.

She doesn't know which one to get, so  she just picks one and goes over to the counter.

The salesman is standing there, wearing  dark shades.

She says, "Excuse me. Can you tell me  anything about this rod and reel?"

He says, "Madam, I'm completely blind;  but if you'll drop it on the counter,

I can tell you everything you need to know about it from the sound it makes."

She doesn't believe him but drops it on  the counter anyway.

He says, "That's a six-foot Shakespeare  graphite rod with a Zebco 404 reel and 10-lb..Test line. It's a good all around  combination, and it's actually on sale this week for  £44."

She says, "That's amazing that you can  tell all that, just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I'll take  it!"

As she opens her purse, her credit card  drops on the floor.

"Oh, that sounds like a Visa card," he  says.

As the lady bends down to pick up the  card, she accidentally farts..

At first she's really embarrassed, but  then realises there is no way

the blind salesman would tell exactly  who had farted.

The man rings up the sale and says,  "That'll be £58.50 please."

The woman is totally confused by this  and asks,

"Didn't you tell me it was on sale for  £44. How did you get £58.50?"

"The Duck Caller is £11, and the Fish  Bait is £3.50

[Anonymous]

Agree!!!Let's keep it going

[Cleoriff]

But I am no good at telling jokes...no-one laughs...

[MI5]

I used to be a comedian, but everyone kept laughing at me.
Well, they're not laughing now !!

[Cleoriff]

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@MI5 wrote:
I used to be a comedian, but everyone kept laughing at me.
Well, they're not laughing now !!

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I can see why....

[Anonymous]

*ahem* ..... where do you take a sick horse?

altogether now ..... to the horspital 

well you can tell it to the kids / granddkids 

[Cleoriff]

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@Anonymous wrote:

*ahem* ..... where do you take a sick horse?

altogether now ..... to the horspital 

well you can tell it to the kids / granddkids 

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I love it....

[Anonymous]

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@Cleoriff wrote:

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@Anonymous wrote:

*ahem* ..... where do you take a sick horse?

altogether now ..... to the horspital 

well you can tell it to the kids / granddkids 

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I love it....

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Good one @Anonymous 

Tell us another one!

[jonsie]

Not one you can show the kids!

[perksie]

[Anonymous]

rofcgu