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If Technology teaches us anything...
Sometimes, the tried and tested ways are best.
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🤣🤣
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Why Men Are Happier...
NICKNAMES
If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes
EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it’s only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need but it’s on sale.
BATHROOMS
A man has 8 items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, aftershave, a bar of soap, deodorant and a towel.
The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 217.
A man wouldn’t be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he has a wife.
SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change.
A man marries a woman expecting she won’t change.
They’re both wrong!
DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
OFFSPRING
A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
Ok, I'll get my coat... 😂
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Very good 😂 Apart from the bathroom items. Two men living here have many many items in the bathroom cabinet. There again, my make-up is in my bedroom. 😂
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A woman went to her plastic surgeon wanting a face lift.
The doctor showed her how she would look and explained it would be ten thousand dollars.
"Oh, I don't think I can afford that much!” she said.
The doctor told her there was a less expensive option.
"We install a handle you twist on the top of your head. As you see a wrinkle, you just twist and it pulls the skin back.”
She said, " I'll take it!"
Six months after the installation the woman showed back up at the doctor FRANTIC about the bags under her eyes.
“I twist and twist and twist and they just won't go away!"
The doctor took one look at her and said, “Ma'am, those aren't bags, those are your breasts. And if you don't quit twisting, you'll have a goatee in 3 weeks.”
