My daughter wants to disown me my wife says no more cooked food. Please help

[Anonymous]

Dear Big People at O2

I have a daughter who is 16 but believes she's 24. She's threatening to disown me, partly because I've moved to Ely near Cambridge. My wife hasn't quite reached my daughters level of frustration yet but I am now having to eat mostly microwave meals from the local supermarket. 

So what has this got to do with O2 and posting to this help forum? I'm glad you asked. You see, for my daughter, moving to a new town is stressful. All the friends she's grown fond of are now living three hours away. She misses them and apparently it's all my fault. She tries to BBM them in the morning on her way to school but they only get her message when she arrives back home (wireless zone) after school. She could of course text them but who texts nowadays? She can't Instagram photos of Ely to them, or use social media. It's very frustrating for her and it's all my fault. 

She blames me for not checking what the 3G/4G coverage in Ely was like before we moved here. I, like her, thought that as Ely was only a few miles from Cambridge (a hotbed of technological research and a nursery for the smartest computer scientists in the world) that 3G/4G would be a given. I was secretely even hoping we might get 5 or 6G but alas, we get none of that. What we did get is a symbol that I have not seen since I moved from Johannesburg, South Africa six years ago and possibly three years before then. It's a symbol that I had thought had gone the way of the fax or even the dreaded telex machine

Imagine my horror when she pointed out the "resurrected-from-the-dead "gprs" symbol to me on her trusty old iPhone 4 a day after we settled into our new home. "It must be a temporary problem dear. I'm sure no one uses gprs anymore" I said, quite sure that her technology obsessed Dad was right.

I started to panic a little when my lovely golden iPhone 5S displayed the same - gprs - symbol. "This cannot be real" and "I am living in a first world country" were thoughts that crossed my mind many times as I tried to sleep that night. I kept checking my phone throughout the night, hoping that the gprs symbol would just go away and in it's place would be the much loved 4G symbol that had graced my phone in Berkshire in a little town that has a high street with all of 7 stores. How wrong I was.

The next morning and the one after that and the one after that, the gprs symbol seemed to be etched into my phone. It simply would not go away no matter where I went. I drove around Ely holding my phone in my hand to see where I could find 4G or even 3G but there was not a single place that made me happy. Of course it's true to say that I did not cover every single square inch of Ely and for this I do apologise. I could have done better but although small, Ely is not that small. 

I came to the O2 website to look at the coverage map hoping that perhaps my iPhone was misbehaving and in reality you really did have 3/4G coverage and I was just being a little anxious, but no, to my surprise, your coverage map showed that apparently my house and almost the whole of Ely was covered in glorious 3G but unfortunately no 4G. Not only was my area listed as having wonderful 3G but it was also said to have 3G indoors and outdoors - whooohooo I thought, I knew it. I could tell my daughter it was only a temporary problem and soon we would have 3G. Perhaps O2 were upgrading to 4G I told her. 

Day after day I would wake up, turn off the wireless and the dreaded gprs symbol would make it's appearance. Why don't you use wireless you ask? Glad you asked.. Well I do when I can but you see, because I am in a new area I don't know the roads very well and just the other day the trip to Milton - which is just 11 miles away and about 24 minutes on a good morning - took me about an hour with me driving through Suffolk and god knows where. Howcome you ask... Well, without 3/4G your precious and trusty GPS on your golden smartphone simply does not work with a "gprs" connection. It simply times out and no matter how much you may curse and moan it really does not help. You simple cannot get directions. I would hate to think what would happen in a medical emergency as I actually have no idea how to get to the closest hospital without directional aid from a GPS. 

So I turn to the forums for help. Could you please update your coverage map for the area of Ely to reflect that you have actually made a mistake and that for Ely and all the way up the A10 to Milton there is in fact no 3G, 2G, or Edge coverage and that the "gprs" symbol that you do show is actually for decoration purposes alone as it's pretty much useless. My daughter still wants to disown me and move back to Berkshire and my wife says it's microwave dinners until she can get 3G on her phone. 

As you can see it's a difficult situation for me. I love my daughter & wife and being Portuguese I really do like freshly cooked meals. I'd prefer not to move to one of the other networks, I've been with you through five generations of iPhone, travelled with you to all parts of the globe and you've never let me down - except for that time in South Africa where you surprised me with an £800+ bill when you charged me £8.00 per MB but I've forgiven you for that mishap. I'd like to stay, I've on occasion used Priority Pass and I've even got a Pizza for a Quid from Domino's which made me very happy. 

When you do update the map to show we only enjoy "gprs" coverage in Ely and surrounds please point out that the "gprs" symbol is only for decoration purposes as in reality it actually has no practical value and one day - hopefully in the new future - when you have time and lots and lots of money could I  beg you to help my home situation by placing some 4G towers in the area around Ely. I promise to tell all my work colleagues when you do and try and convince them to move to O2.

Sincerely

Malaguetas

[MI5]

I'm loving this saga - It's better than Eastenders

[Anonymous]

Hi and thanks for your comment. 

I can't say that I've been badly treated by O2, in fact quite the contrary. I understand Ely is a small community and that towers are expensive and that ultimately it's a business decision they must make as to whether they think they can make money or not out of the investment. 

I just hate them saying they have 3G coverage all over Ely when they don't. Be honest, don't lie and tell us up front not to expect 3G coverage. As easy as that. 

Anyway, the saga continues. Read my latest post on how things worked out today and once again, thanks for your comment

[Anonymous]

Heheee.

I'm glad to hear you had a good chuckle. Thanks for the comment and keep following the saga. Read my latest post on how things worked out today and once again, thanks for your comment

[Anonymous]

Your own personal Blog. 😄

[jonsie]

I do hope this is a daily blog, much better than anything on TV that's for sure! It's a shame that the park is so near yet so far. Maybe it's the metal chain-link on the swing or the metal support frame enhancing the signal...you could try installing one in your back garden and the 3G will be bounced between the said children's amusements, indeed your own little network!

Perhaps next time you venture out into the wilds of Ely you should go armed with a compass or if you can find one these days, ask a policeman. Nighttime shouldn't be a problem navigating by the stars, I've heard there are very clear skies in Ely

I do hope O2 will see sense and get your area upgraded as soon as possible otherwise I fear for your sanity...:smileyhappy:

[Cleoriff]

Yes @jonsie much safer to set up his own chain link network...rather than camp out in the childrens park

[Anonymous]

Oh dear, I see my individual responses to your comments are showing up publically and it seems I am saying the same thing over and over again.

My sincerest apologies. I'll have to figure out how exactly to respond to your individual responses unless of course this is not possible

[MI5]

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@Anonymous wrote:

I'll have to figure out how exactly to respond to your individual responses unless of course this is not possible

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Press reply and then you can quote the person you are responding to

[Anonymous]

Ok so just so things are clear over here, I took my youngest son with me to the park (he has no interest in 3G or BBM) and taking pictures of kids in the park is not my thing.What I took was a screenshot of the 3G connectivity I had and then promply forgot to post it in my previous rambling. However, fear not, attached to this post is proof that at least in one little children's park in Ely on the left and right swing (facing the road) and on the wooden bench you can get magnificent 3G connectivity.

With regards to the proposed tent, my daughter could have camped outside the park as only a low fence separates the grass area from the childrens park so there would not be a need for the park keeper to shoo her away. 

As for tonight's dinner, unfortunately I could not convince my wife that for 3G connectivity she just needs to walk a couple of hundred meters to the childrens park and sit on the swings or wooden bench - hence the trip to Aldi and microwaved dinner.

I cannot in all truth say that it was a spectacular dinner but I'm pretty lucky that my wife hasn't read this post and thread yet. Who knows what I'll be forced to eat...

[Cleoriff]

Oh yes @Anonymous ...you really should keep these posts away from your wife....

I do feel sorry about the microwaved dinners....Is this why you got lost on the way to/from Aldi :smileywink: