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So, this morning, I popped into Lidl for my daily breakfast croissants and upon reaching the checkout I noticed a little old lady in front of me packing up her shopping.....
Her bill came to 51 euro and 50 cents.
She meticulously counted out her change which unfortunately only came to 50 euro 45 cents.
Now she didn't want me to help her at all, but I insisted and we had all her shopping back on the shelves in no time at all 
What was your good deed of the day?
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What a twonk!
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Twit ?
Hassle you don't need, defs.
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Oik, effin', perrick (,twonk, twit).... What language are you speaking there @jonsie? 
As we say here... "Was für Arschgeigen!" (ass-fiddle XD)
Today I went to a club (they help people to get care-money they need) and bought a new senior-mobile with granny. Hope she can cope with it...
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Ah, the backside violin, a most musical instrument at times, @ComaChameleon 
I let someone jump ahead in the security queue at the airport earlier this week. Shame she got the full *let's have a look in here miss" treatment from the person with the job of sampling all fluids in the "little zip lock bag of everything under 100ml", whilst I was waved through without so much as a second glance...
I was wearing a Star Wars tee-shirt and got a detailed account of how to build your own light sabre from the guy helping me through... And a "May the force be with you" as I donned my shoes afterwards...
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I do appreciate airport security....I really do.
However there are some jobworths about. I say this as some who travelled to Spain every 6-8 weeks and knew all the 'tricks of the trade'.
I still got stopped at UK borderforce nearly every time. On two occasions it was for sugar in a tupperware container. Apparently it looks like fluid on the scanner. Another time it was for daring to have more than one lighter in my bag. (On other occasions it was fine apparently).
Once I was taking a hot water bottle over. (I know but it was the dead of winter and really cold). Out that came as there were a few drops of water left in it. Once I had my handbag whisked away as they found traces of tobacco in it. They had to test to make sure it wasn't wacky baccy.
Also why do you have to take your laptop out of its bag, Just why?
Anyway if you think thats bad, you need to try getting through customs when you are entering the US.
Bear in mind you have just landed and are on the way to your villa. In Florida they take lighters off you as you are exiting the airport.!!
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US customs must be the worst in the world closely followed by Australia! No sense of humour at all and the female officers are completely ignorant, usually about 5'5" and just as wide.Its insane, you get through security in the UK with a few lighters and 100 ml of after shave but US immigration take them off you. Why? Makes no sense but you can't reason with them.
