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If Technology teaches us anything...
Sometimes, the tried and tested ways are best.
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Husband: My wife’s gone missing. She went shopping yesterday and never came home!
OFFICER: Age?
Husband: I’m not sure. Around 40. We don’t really celebrate birthdays.
OFFICER: Height?
Husband: Umm… maybe a little over five feet.
OFFICER: Weight?
Husband: No idea. Not skinny, not heavy… somewhere in between.
OFFICER: Eye color?
Husband: I think brown.
OFFICER: Hair color?
Husband: Changes a couple of times a year. Probably dark brown right now. I don’t really remember.
OFFICER: What was she wearing?
Husband: Could’ve been pants, maybe a skirt… or shorts. Honestly, I’m not sure.
OFFICER: What vehicle was she driving?
Husband: She took my motorcycle.
OFFICER: What kind of motorcycle?
Husband: A 2018 Harley Davidson Road Glide, Twisted Cherry finish, 14-inch ape hangers, Stage 2 upgrade, Vance & Hines fishtail pipes, Klock Werks windshield, JP Cycles floorboards, highway pegs, crash bars… (starts sweating and breathing hard).
OFFICER: Relax, sir. Don’t worry. We’ll find your motorcycle…
😂🤣
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Funny, @Cleoriff - and every item in his bike description is a genuine thing 🤣
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ADVICE FROM A RETIRED HUSBAND....
It is important for all husbands to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger.
When you notice this, try not to yell at them.
Some do become oversensitive, and there's nothing worse than an oversensitive woman.
My name is Ron.
Let me relate how I handled this difficult situation with my wife, Carol.
When I retired a few years ago, it became necessary for Carol to get a full-time job, as well as her part-time job, both for extra income plus the health benefit insurance cover that we desperately needed.
Shortly after she started working full-time, I noticed she was beginning to show her age.
I usually get home from the golf club about the same time she gets home from work .
Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner.
I don't yell at her.
Instead, I tell her to take her time and to be sure to wake me when she gets dinner on the table.
As I generally have lunch everyday in the Men's Grill at my golf club, eating out is never an option in the evening.
I'm always ready for some good home-cooked grub when I hit that door.
She used to do the washing up as soon as we finished eating. But now it's not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner.
I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that they won't clean themselves.
I know she really appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.
Another symptom of aging is her excessive complaining, I have noticed.
For example, she will say that it is too difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour..
But, Boys, we take 'em for better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement.
I tell her to stretch it out over two, or even three days. That way, she won't have to rush so much.
I also remind her that missing lunch completely every now and then wouldn't hurt her any (if you know what I mean).
I like to think tact is one of my strong points..
When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs many more rest breaks.
Yesterday she had to take a breather when she was only half-finished mowing the lawn.
I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man.. I told her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed orange juice and just sit for a while.
And, as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me, too.
I know that I probably look like a saint in the ways I endeavour to support Carol.
I'm not saying that showing this much patience & consideration is easy.
Many men will find it difficult.
Some will find it impossible!
Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older.
However, Guys, even if you use just a little more tact and less criticism of your aging wife after reading this article, I will consider that writing it was well worth the effort.
After all, we guys are put on this earth to help each other.
NOTE:
Ron died suddenly on June 26th of a perforated rectum.
The police report says he was found with a fairly new Callaway extra-long RAZR Fit Extreme Driver golf club jammed right up his posterior, with barely 5 inches of the grip still showing. A small sledgehammer was laying nearby
His wife Carol was subsequently arrested and charged with his murder.
An all-woman jury took only 10 minutes to find her 'Not Guilty'.
They unanimously accepted her defence that Ron somehow, without looking, must have accidentally sat down on his new golf club.
😂😂
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Death by a dangerous driver then 🤣🤣🤣
