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If Technology teaches us anything...
Sometimes, the tried and tested ways are best.
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@Cleoriff wrote:A father brought a lie detector robot home. He asked his son what he did at his friend's house. The son said he studied, and the robot slapped him. The son admitted he played video games. The father boasted, "When I was your age, I studied a lot." The robot slapped the father. The mother laughed, saying, "He is your son, after all." The robot then slapped the mother.
Brilliant @Cleoriff
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Lie detector robot knew the lie of the land 😆
Good one, @Cleoriff.
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3 friends died in a car accident and they went to an orientation meeting in heaven...
They were all asked, "When you are in your casket and friends and family are talking about you, what would you like them to say?
The first guy said, ”I would like to hear them say I was a great doctor and a great family man."
The second guy said, "I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and schoolteacher who made a huge difference in the lives of the children of tomorrow."
The last guy replied, “I would like to hear them say “Look, he's moving!”
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@pgn wrote:3 friends died in a car accident and they went to an orientation meeting in heaven...
They were all asked, "When you are in your casket and friends and family are talking about you, what would you like them to say?
The first guy said, ”I would like to hear them say I was a great doctor and a great family man."
The second guy said, "I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and schoolteacher who made a huge difference in the lives of the children of tomorrow."
The last guy replied, “I would like to hear them say “Look, he's moving!”
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Pat was a short, sinewy, skinny Irishman who needed to get to the 8th floor, so he pressed the button to call the lift. After a minute or so, the doors opened, and as he stepped inside, he saw this huge guy just about able to stand erect in the lift.
The big guy saw the little guy staring up at him so he looked down at him, and said, “7 feet tall, 160kg, 18-inch ******, 1.3kg of testicles. Turner Brown.”
At which point, Pat fainted.
The big guy knelt down, shook Pat a little and brought him to his senses.
In a weak voice, Pat asked, “Exactly what did you say to me?”
The big guy answered, “I saw your surprised look and figured I’d just give you the answers to the questions everybody always asks me: I’m 7 feet tall, I weigh 168kg I have an 18-inch ******, my testicles weigh 1.3kg and my name is Turner Brown.”
The little Irishman relaxed and said, “Turner Brown? Thank god for that, I thought you said turn around!”
😖
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A rabbi and a priest were having a picnic lunch on a really hot summer day and wanted to dip in the river to cool off. They hadn’t thought to bring bathing suits so they had to skinny dip.
The river was flowing rapidly and both men were washed a short distance downstream before getting out. After climbing out of the river they had just started to make a run to get to their clothes when some members of both their congregations on an interfaith picnic came into view.
The priest covered his privates with his hands but the rabbi covered his face instead.
"What are you doing?" the priest asked.
“I don't know about you," the rabbi answered, "but my congregants recognize me by my face."
😁
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The Mispronunciation Sketch, by Ronny Barker:
