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If Technology teaches us anything...
Sometimes, the tried and tested ways are best.
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A 54-year-old accountant left a letter for his wife one evening which read: "Dear Wife, I am 54 years old, and by the time you get this letter I will be at the Grand Hotel with my beautiful and sexy eighteen year old secretary."
When he arrived at the hotel, there was a letter waiting for him that read as follows: "Dear Husband, I too am 54 years old, and by the time you receive this letter I will be at the Savoy Hotel with my eighteen year old toy-boy. Because you are an accountant, you will surely appreciate that 18 goes into 54 many more times than 54 goes into 18."
🤣
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@pgn wrote:A 54-year-old accountant left a letter for his wife one evening which read: "Dear Wife, I am 54 years old, and by the time you get this letter I will be at the Grand Hotel with my beautiful and sexy eighteen year old secretary."
When he arrived at the hotel, there was a letter waiting for him that read as follows: "Dear Husband, I too am 54 years old, and by the time you receive this letter I will be at the Savoy Hotel with my eighteen year old toy-boy. Because you are an accountant, you will surely appreciate that 18 goes into 54 many more times than 54 goes into 18."
🤣
Very risque @pgn but funny (and true)
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A king’s daughter married the prince of a neighboring kingdom. He couldn't bear that his precious darling was going away with another man, so he called his best spy and told him to check on her to ensure she was being treated well.
The next day the spy reported, “The princess was treated as a true royal. The people loved her and there was a large parade to welcome her.”
“Then what happened?” asked the king.
“My Lord, they retired to the royal bedroom,” said the spy.
“Then what happened?”, asked the king.
“Well, the princess said, "Dear noble prince, I offer you my honour.", to which the prince said, "My lady, I honour your offer."”
“Then what happened?”, asked the king.
“The same thing, my lord – honour, offer, honour, offer the whole night.”
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel.
They were standing in the hotel atrium lobby discussing their recent tournament victories when the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.
''But why?'' they asked as they moved off.
''Because,'' he said ''I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.''
🤣
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Dunno how I missed the one you posted on the 1st @pgn. I normally pick up on the more risque jokes 😂
In fact it beats the last old chestnut hands down. 🤣
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Try this one for size, @Cleoriff:
Mary had a little watch,
she swallowed it one day.
Then Mary took a laxative
to pass the time away.
Well, time went on and time went on,
and time still wouldn't pass.
So, if you want to know what time it is,
just look up Mary's brother in Omaha. He's got a Rolex.
😁
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Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications and intimacy, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as: Poker Night 5.0, European League 3.0 and Golf 4.1
Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and House cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.
Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
What can I do?
Signed, Desperate
Dear Desperate,
First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.
Please enter command: I thought you loved me.html and try to download Tears 6.2
Do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.
If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.
However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1.
Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download Fart 2.0 and the Snoring Loudly Beta version.
Whatever you do, DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Mother-In-Law 1.0 as it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.
In addition, please do not attempt to re-install the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.
You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance.
We recommend Cooking 3.0.
Good Luck!
