cancel
Showing results for 
Search instead for 
Did you mean: 

Wonderful (true) Church Bulletins Funnies

TallTrees
Level 49: Rootin' Tootin' 
  • 10841 Posts
  • 120 Topics
  • 352 Solutions
Registered:

Those wonderful Church Bulletins! Thank God for church ladies with computers. These sentences (with all the BLOOPERS) actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:


-------------------------
The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
--------------------------
The sermon this morning: Jesus Walks on the Water.
The sermon tonight: Searching for Jesus.
--------------------------
Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
-------------------------
Don’t let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
--------------------------
Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
--------------------------
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs .
--------------------------
Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
--------------------------
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
--------------------------
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.
-------------------------- Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
-------------------------- Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children
-------------------------
The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility..
--------------------------
Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
--------------------------
The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
--------------------------
This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
--------------------------
Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM . All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.
--------------------------
The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
--------------------------
Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door
--------------------------
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
--------------------------
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church.
Please use large double door at the side-

------------------------

The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday:"I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours'.

 

SOOOO FUNNY AND REALLY TRUE

 

 





HAPPINESS IS BEE SHAPED

Message 1 of 12
4,502 Views
11 REPLIES 11

TallTrees
Level 49: Rootin' Tootin' 
  • 10841 Posts
  • 120 Topics
  • 352 Solutions
Registered:

I like these funnies anyway😃



HAPPINESS IS BEE SHAPED

Message 2 of 12
3,728 Views

jonsie
Level 94: Supreme
  • 93262 Posts
  • 609 Topics
  • 6985 Solutions
Registered:

TallTrees
Level 49: Rootin' Tootin' 
  • 10841 Posts
  • 120 Topics
  • 352 Solutions
Registered:

These cheer me up @jonsie 

Thank you 😊 



HAPPINESS IS BEE SHAPED

Message 4 of 12
3,714 Views

pgn
Level 75: Digital Don
  • 37015 Posts
  • 237 Topics
  • 1677 Solutions
Registered:

Haha. The Casting Off In The Basement one got me. Hilarious 🤣

Message 5 of 12
3,718 Views

Mi-Amigo
Level 47: Going Places
  • 25306 Posts
  • 826 Topics
  • 0 Solutions
Registered:

Hilarious @TallTrees 

loved them 😂

animated-elephant-image-0327



Girl in a jacket


Some people see things as they are and ask "Why?"; I dream of things that never were and ask "Why not?"
Robert Kennedy.

Message 6 of 12
3,713 Views

Cleoriff
Level 94: Supreme
  • 123803 Posts
  • 828 Topics
  • 7490 Solutions
Registered:

Just brilliant @TallTrees "I upped my pledge. Up yours". Just great. innocentjoy

Veritas Numquam Perit

Girl in a jacket
Message 7 of 12
3,711 Views

Cleoriff
Level 94: Supreme
  • 123803 Posts
  • 828 Topics
  • 7490 Solutions
Registered:

I've just noticed "Gracious Hostility" 😂 😂

Veritas Numquam Perit

Girl in a jacket
Message 8 of 12
3,699 Views

TallTrees
Level 49: Rootin' Tootin' 
  • 10841 Posts
  • 120 Topics
  • 352 Solutions
Registered:

They are so good @Mi-Amigo 



HAPPINESS IS BEE SHAPED

Message 9 of 12
3,695 Views

TallTrees
Level 49: Rootin' Tootin' 
  • 10841 Posts
  • 120 Topics
  • 352 Solutions
Registered:

Yeh, I quite liked the electric girdles to cook breakfast on 😁

@pgn 

 

 



HAPPINESS IS BEE SHAPED

Message 10 of 12
3,691 Views