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Wonderful (true) Church Bulletins Funnies

TallTrees
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Those wonderful Church Bulletins! Thank God for church ladies with computers. These sentences (with all the BLOOPERS) actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:


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The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
--------------------------
The sermon this morning: Jesus Walks on the Water.
The sermon tonight: Searching for Jesus.
--------------------------
Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
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Don’t let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
--------------------------
Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
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For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs .
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Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
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At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.
-------------------------- Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
-------------------------- Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children
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The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility..
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Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
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The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
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Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM . All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.
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The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
--------------------------
Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door
--------------------------
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
--------------------------
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church.
Please use large double door at the side-

------------------------

The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday:"I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours'.

 

SOOOO FUNNY AND REALLY TRUE

 

 





HAPPINESS IS BEE SHAPED

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TallTrees
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I like these funnies anyway😃



HAPPINESS IS BEE SHAPED

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jonsie
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Brilliant @TallTrees 😂

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TallTrees
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These cheer me up @jonsie 

Thank you 😊 



HAPPINESS IS BEE SHAPED

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pgn
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Haha. The Casting Off In The Basement one got me. Hilarious 🤣

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Mi-Amigo
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Hilarious @TallTrees 

loved them 😂

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Some people see things as they are and ask "Why?"; I dream of things that never were and ask "Why not?"
Robert Kennedy.

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Cleoriff
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Just brilliant @TallTrees "I upped my pledge. Up yours". Just great. innocentjoy

*The Game Is On*

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Cleoriff
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I've just noticed "Gracious Hostility" 😂 😂

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TallTrees
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They are so good @Mi-Amigo 



HAPPINESS IS BEE SHAPED

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TallTrees
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Yeh, I quite liked the electric girdles to cook breakfast on 😁

@pgn 

 

 



HAPPINESS IS BEE SHAPED

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