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If Technology teaches us anything...
Sometimes, the tried and tested ways are best.
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A man working in a supermarket's produce aisle is approached by a woman who says, “Can you point me toward the broccoli, please?”
Man: “I’m sorry, but we don’t have any broccoli left. We’ll have more tomorrow.”
Five minutes later, the man feels a tap on his shoulder, and it’s the same woman asking where the broccoli is.
Man: “As I said, I’m sorry, but we’ve run out of broccoli; we’ll have more tomorrow.”
Five minutes later, the same woman approaches the man again, asking for broccoli.
Exasperated, the man turns to the woman and says, “I'm sorry, lady, but can I ask you a couple of questions?”.
“Sure”, she says.
Man: “Can you spell cat, as in catastrophe?
Woman: “Of course, C. A. T.”
Man: “Can you spell dog, as in dogmatic?”
Woman: “I’m not stupid, it’s D. O. G.”
Man: “Okay, can you spell flame, as in broccoli?”
Woman: “There is no flame in broccoli.”
Man: “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you, lady!”
Harrison Ford told this joke on the US chat show circuit some years back - still makes me smile 🤣
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Made me giggle 😂
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😁 funny 😁
A dumb guy is overweight, so his doctor puts him on a diet. 'I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat that for two weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least five pounds.' When the guy returns, he's lost nearly 20 pounds."
"'Wow, that's amazing!' the doctor says. 'Did you follow my instructions?'
The guy nods. 'I'll tell you, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day.'
'From hunger, you mean?' said the doctor.
'No, from skipping,' replied the guy."
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- 13524 Posts
- 348 Topics
- 37 Solutions
- 41318 Posts
- 247 Topics
- 1844 Solutions
Jesus and Moses were relaxing on a boat talking about the good old days. The subject of miracles came up and they decided to see if they could still perform them.
“It's been almost 4000 years since I did this one!" Moses said, raising his arms. The water parted, revealing the floor of the lake.
Jesus clapped his hands and said, "Good one! It's only been about 2000 years since I did this."
He stepped off the boat onto the water and immediately sank into the lake.
Moses parted the water, threw a line down to soaking wet Jesus and helped him back into the boat.
Jesus said, "That was embarrassing. I guess I need to clear my mind and focus. He closed his eyes, took a deep slow breath and stepped off the boat again. Alas, he again sank to the bottom of the lake.
Moses parted the water and helped Jesus up again, saying, “Hey, maybe we should just head back. You can try again tomorrow.”
But Jesus said, "No,
I can do this." He mouthed a silent prayer and winked at the sky but sank again when he stepped off the boat.
Moses parted the water for the third time and helped Jesus up.
Jesus was shaken, but then looked at his feet and smiled, saying, “I know what's wrong now. Last time I didn't have these damn holes in my feet."
