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If Technology teaches us anything...
Sometimes, the tried and tested ways are best.
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- 40463 Posts
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One day there was a little green man who came home from his little green job.
He got to his little green door, opened it, stepped inside, hung up his little green coat and decided to run his little green bath while he drank a little cup of green tea.
As soon as his little green bath was full, he took off his little green clothes, stepped into his little green bath and lowered his little green butt down.
Just as he started to relax someone rang his little green doorbell. "Dagnabit!" he yelled as he stepped out of his little green bath, wrapped a little green towel round himself, went down his little green stairs and opened his little green door.
There stood a young woman who started apologizing for disturbing him, when a gust of wind blew his little green towel off him.
She screamed in horror, ran across the street and got hit by a speeding car and was pronounced dead at the scene of the accident.
Moral of the story: Never run across the road when the little green man is flashing.
😁
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- 40463 Posts
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An elderly aristocrat had a butler called Wibble.
One day he called for Wibble and said, “What about running my bath, Wibble?”
“Certainly, my lord. Will there be anything else, my lord?” asked Wibble.
“Yes Wibble, what about my dressing gown?” the aristocrat countered.
“Certainly, will there be anything else, my lord?” Wibble replied.
“Yes Wibble, my carpet slippers.”
“Certainly, my lord, will there be anything else?”
“No, Wibble. If I require anything else I shall call you,” the old codger said. As he lowered himself into the water, he let out a huge fart.
Five minutes later Wibble returned with a hot water bottle on a silver tray. “Here you are, my lord, your hot water bottle, he said.
“I never asked for that,” said his Lordship.
To which Wibble replied, “I beg your pardon but you did, my lord. As you lowered yourself into the bath I distinctly heard you say, “Whadabowdawadderboddlewibble?”
😖
- 12291 Posts
- 316 Topics
- 37 Solutions
- 40463 Posts
- 246 Topics
- 1822 Solutions
- 12291 Posts
- 316 Topics
- 37 Solutions
- 40463 Posts
- 246 Topics
- 1822 Solutions
A man with a tendency to over-explain things was lying on his therapist's couch.
The therapist said, “I have a new exercise for you today. Instead of spending an hour talking about your day, try to tell me the essentials of what happened in one breath.”
The man agreed and took a deep breath.
“So they cast Callie Hernandez as Supergirl and I’m not sure if it was the best decision. Also, that movie is featuring product placements from Burt’s Bees new ‘Fragile’ brand lip-balm.”
“On top of that, I suspect my favorite Mexican food place, Alido’s, is part of a crime ring and paying hush money to a mafia boss I saw there the other day.”
The patient gasped and caught his breath.
The therapist adjusted his glasses and said, “Now simplify that even further.
Only the basic points of that sentence.”
The patient thought for a while before responding, “Super Callie, Fragile lipstick, expect Alido’s hush.”
🤣
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