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If Technology teaches us anything...
Sometimes, the tried and tested ways are best.
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@pgn wrote:A man Is driving down a highway, when he sees a priest hitchhiking. So he picks the priest up. They drive a bit further down the highway, when the man then spots a well-known lawyer hitchhiking as well. Remembering that this man represented his ex wife during their divorce, an impulse of anger causes him to aim his car right at the lawyer. He then recalls the priest in his car, and at the last minute, swerves to miss him. The man then turns to the priest and says, "Father, forgive me, I nearly hit that lawyer!"
The priest responds with, "Don't worry, my son, I got him with the door!"
The Priest seems to be a man after my own heart @pgn 😂
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A man walks into a bar and orders 3 pints of Guinness. He sits at the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes all 3, he goes back to the bar and orders 3 more. The bartender says to him, "You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it and it would taste better if you bought one at a time." The man replies, "Well, you see, I have 2 brothers: 1 in America, 1 in Australia, and I'm here in Dublin. When we all left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we all used to drink together." The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, For many months the man becomes a regular in the bar and always drinks the same way. He orders 3 pints and drinks the 3 pints by taking swigs from each of them in turn. Just after New Year, he comes in and orders 2 pints. All the regulars in the bar notice this and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your sad loss." The man looks confused for a moment, then a light dawns in his eyes and he laughs.... "Oh, no," he says, "Everyone's fine. It's just me......I'm doing Dry January.
😁
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@pgn wrote:A man walks into a bar and orders 3 pints of Guinness. He sits at the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes all 3, he goes back to the bar and orders 3 more. The bartender says to him, "You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it and it would taste better if you bought one at a time." The man replies, "Well, you see, I have 2 brothers: 1 in America, 1 in Australia, and I'm here in Dublin. When we all left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we all used to drink together." The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, For many months the man becomes a regular in the bar and always drinks the same way. He orders 3 pints and drinks the 3 pints by taking swigs from each of them in turn. Just after New Year, he comes in and orders 2 pints. All the regulars in the bar notice this and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your sad loss." The man looks confused for a moment, then a light dawns in his eyes and he laughs.... "Oh, no," he says, "Everyone's fine. It's just me......I'm doing Dry January.
😁
Excellent @pgn 🤣
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- 40904 Posts
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- 12923 Posts
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- 40904 Posts
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- 1834 Solutions
In a small town in New England, a large dray of squirrels had become quite a problem.
The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrel infestation. After much prayer and consideration they concluded the squirrels were predestined to be there and the church shouldn’t interfere with God’s divine will.
The squirrels took an interest in the Baptist church, particularly the baptistry. The deacons met and decided to put a water slide adjacent the baptismal pool, the hope being that the squirrels would drown themselves. Alas, the squirrels liked the slide and, as they knew instinctively how to swim, twice as many squirrels showed up the following week.
The Lutherans decided they were not in a position to harm any of God’s creatures, so they humanely trapped their squirrels and set them free near the Baptist church. Two weeks later the squirrels were back when the Baptists took down the water-slide.
The Episcopalians tried a different track and set out pans of whiskey around the church in an effort to kill the squirrels by alcohol poisoning. Unfortunately they soon learned how much damage a scurry of drunken squirrels can wreak.
The Catholics came up with a much more creative strategy. They baptized all the squirrels and made them members of the church. Now they only see them at Christmas and Easter.
Not much was heard from the Synagogue. They took the first squirrel they could catch, circumcised it and haven’t seen a squirrel since.
😁
