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If Technology teaches us anything...
Sometimes, the tried and tested ways are best.
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It was spring in the old west. The cowboys rode the still snow-choked trails looking for cattle that had survived the winter.
As one cowboy's horse went around the narrow trail it came upon a rattlesnake warming itself in the spring sunshine.
The horse reared and the cowboy drew his six-gun to shoot the snake.
"Hold on there, partner," said the snake, "don't shoot - I'm an enchanted rattlesnake, and if you don't shoot me, I'll give you any three wishes you want."
The cowboy decided to take a chance.
He knew he was safely out of the snake's striking range so he said,
"OK, first, I'd like to have a face like Clark Gable, next I'd like a body like Arnold Schwarzenegger and finally, I'd like wedding tackle like this horse I'm riding."
The rattlesnake said, "All right, when you get back to the bunk house you'll have all three wishes."
The cowboy turned his horse around and galloped at full speed all the way to the bunk house. He dismounted on the run and went straight inside to the mirror.
Staring back at him in the mirror was the face of Clark Gable.
He ripped the shirt off his back and revealed muscles just like Arnold Schwarzenegger's.
Really excited now, he yanked down his jeans, looked at his crotch and shouted, "Shoot! I plumb forgot I was riding the mare today!”
🤠
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Seeing as we're out in the old west:
Two cowboys walked into a bar and sat down at a table for a drink.
A woman drinking a martini at the bar started to choke on the olive.
One cowboy said to the other, “I'm gonna help that there woman." He went over, looked at her and said, "Are you choking?" She nodded yes.
“Do you want me to help you?" Again she nodded yes.
With that, the cowboy hunkered down behind her, lifted up her skirt, pulled down her knickers and licked her bare backside. The woman became so flustered that she spat out the olive with some force.
The cowboy smiled at her, went back to his table and as he sat down next to his friend he said, “That there hind-lick maneuver works every time.”
🤠
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A cyclist dies and goes to heaven. She says to God, "I've been a good person all my life, why didn't you grant me what I prayed for?"
God is confused, "But I gave you Donald Trump and Elon Musk."
The cyclist replies, "I wanted more cycle paths, not psychopaths!"
😖
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- 38288 Posts
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Ethel from Applecross, on the west coast of Scotland, was visiting relatives in the USA. On her first day, she walked into a bar and asked the bartender for a local beer.
The bartender said, "Anheuser Busch?"
Ethel, a bit taken aback, replied, “It’s fine, and how’s yer knob?”
😖
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