LOVE WEEK : FRIENDSHIP

[Cleoriff]

                                            FRIENDSHIP

Today's topic is all about Friendship and what it means to you.

Few things have such a huge impact on happiness and the enjoyment, depth and plain fun of life as the friendships we have.

Do friends need to spend a lot of time together? Or are you comfortable with friends you see rarely but can just pick up a conversation as if you had never been apart?

Then (like this community) there are people you have never met but consider good friends.

Just a bit about myself. I am 'quite old' and have a large circle of friends. Some I speak to daily and see often, others I see rarely but know they would have my back if anything happened to me. They also know I would be there for them.

Through life, I have had many best friends. It happens with age.  Many of those have moved away, across the world  but we still keep in touch..

Currently one of my closest friends used to be my boss in nursing. (Yes just imagine!!)

At work we were totally professional and to make sure I was never favoured in the eyes of others, she worked me harder than anyone else. Now we are both retired and can share a friendship which is quite unique really.

I specifically asked @Marjo  to do this topic as it gave me an opportunity to mention @Glory1 .

She was community member who we sadly lost in August of last year.

We had never met. We were the same age and when she joined we just clicked. She became one of my closest friends.

How can that possibly happen when you haven't met someone in person?

Well it did. We had the same sense of humour and shared a liking of books and TV programmes. We could literally chat for hours, either via PM, email, messenger and the occasional phone call. We supported each other a lot through some very bad times and enjoyed black humour discussing our issues.

When she passed away, I felt I had lost a very close friend. This is probably the power of this community and I thank people for that and bringing Glory into our lives..

Add to that, I also thank the community for other friendships I have made and the support they have given me (you know who you are)

I found this lovely quote from a very unlikely source..

“Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It’s not something you learn in school. But if you haven’t learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven’t learned anything.”

– Muhammad Ali

So what does friendship mean to you?

Have you any amusing or poignant friendship memories you want to share?

Please feel free to join in in any way you feel comfortable with. Don't make me feel like a Billy No- Mates 

[TallTrees]

Great topic for "Love week" @Cleoriff
Miss you Glory ♥️
If you have a trusted friend then you are very lucky.
The carer for @Mi-Amigo not a friend as such but a great person so thoughtful this makes such a difference.
I have met thoughtful people not friends but someone who would help when your tyre has blown out at side of road, a good person.
Someone who sees you struggling to get something up the steps to the recycling bin and says "here give you a hand with that" luv🤭
There are people who you don't know and will never see again that help in that difficult moment that makes all the difference, good sound people. They make life better.

[pgn]

Well look at that - I was browsing the forum recently, for a different task (you'll see on 27th! if you don't already know what!) and realised I had not seen @Cairdeas for an age, and lo, she appears. Must be that Scottish breeze 🤣

So Friendship, as I take 20mins out in Costa...

First, yes, the loss of a Forum Friend in Glory1, sad times.

But then Good Times - all the others, some who join in from wherever they are on the planet, it's great, isn't it? Some trials and tribulations, some fights and the odd strop and a resignation huff... That Anonymous user gets about! 😎

I used to help moderate a forum decades ago, before the Internet had benefitted from Berners-Lee's early browser. On there I met people, along with their egos, their troubles, and their joys. I had to arbitrate a few spats in my day. Back then I lived up in Scotland, not as far as some, but far enough up to make travel awkward.

I still talk with a couple of the folk I met, people who shared my love of a certain band from Skye, who travelled up, or I travelled down, to go to concerts the band staged. Others have disappeared, some gone even further afield, some have, alas, passed on.

Friendship at a distance can work.  My best trick was to get a British Rail Apex ticket, travel as far south as I could get on the first day then hop off for a few days on the journey back to the Granite City, kipping on floors, guest beds, wherever - return travel had to be completed in30 days on that type of (cheapish) ticket. Heaven knows how much that would cost today - London, Birmingham, Wolverhampton, Aberystwyth (extra ticket required) , Leeds, York, Lancaster, Newcastle, Belfast, Edinburgh, Glasgow... it can be done. Yeah, I cheated to get Belfast in, flying from Edinburgh, then back to Newcastle, then back on the same Apex ticket I started on to the city of Granite and, at Easter, daffodils. 

Anyway - good topic, @Cleoriff - time to get Tesco done and home again, shopping with Dennis pushing you about is a challenge today. 

[Cairdeas]

lol..nice to see you @pgn  thanks for thinking of me  x

[Anonymous]

I have a few issues which few people understand, most people don't stick around to see what's left when the bravado has faded & the chinks in the armour become gaping holes.. And all that's left is the scared little kid that survived all those years. (I can't believe I'm posting this here) So I have very few friends & the ones that I do have, may not understand but have stuck around for reasons I sometimes cannot fathom.

Try counting the contacts in your personal phone & then count your friends in that list! I have 9 contacts & of those 9 contacts 3 are family & the other 6 are friends, I bet not many people can say that! (Or maybe they can, prove me wrong!)

I truly believe you can only have one best friend. Someone who knows you inside & out, loves you warts & all. My mate was Joolz, She was amazing.. we finished each others sentences, worshipped each others kids & did near enough everything together. I think the most time we ever spent apart in 12 years was a day at most. The friendship ended because she wanted more & I saw her as a friend only. This woman helped me begin to deal with trauma I didn't even know existed. It's devastating to have lost someone so special but the memories I'll treasure forever. I don't think I'll ever have a bond like that with anyone ever again...

And that's why the internet is so fantastic.. You can be who you want when you want & nobody has to know any different. A warrior saving Remora, a Paladin fighting the Horde or a pilot flying a 747.  I've had plenty of internet buddies who have used the internet as an emotional crutch. Barking Mum (MSN username) split with her useless husband & joined the Celebdaq community becoming a shoulder for almost everyone, then she met her new bloke & she was gone back into the real world. And yet, for a certain amount of time we were there for each other, and others.. I guess that, as fleeting as it was, is a friendship of sorts! (3 years)

I'm now sat here wondering if you lot are my friends. Wondering what you think & feel about me, No one is universally liked & I know i am a massive bell end at the best of times (I am well aware of my failings) (btw that isn't a call for you lot to start licking my ****, this is me spewing out some of the madness that goes on in my mind) (and at the end of the day does it really matter if some random ****** you've never met doesn't like you, nah course not but somehow it does)

I mentioned to someone the other week I was thinking of getting a train to somewhere to meet another member, but then I'm wondering if that's the done thing. Does that person feel the same way i do & would they like me when I met up with them? They do say, you should never meet your idols.. Would that be the same here.. Would illusions be shattered.. Would the 'friendship' be the same after? Is it worth risking it all?

And then something happens.. Like the loss of @Glory1 and I think yeah ****** it.. get gone.. do it.. but then life gets in the way & I'm back to the wondering whether i should stage. 

I can safely say one thing though. There are some good people here, people that I would never cross paths with if we lived in the same town/city. So I'm thankful for the internet.. Thankful that i can call some of you friends/mates/people i know of/someone i can turn to when my phone goes belly up.

And like 99% of the people online I've met/met & met/never met... I'll always be greatful that you were there to make my troubles seem distant, if only for a short time. 

[Anonymous]

I have a few friends I meet up with, but they are invaluable to me

I have internet friends who it's good to keep in touch with via Email or Facebook

Then there are good friends on this community who know a lot about me and have helped me. they know how much I think of them 

Sorry this is a short post = just not too good at present

Enjoyed reading the posts above

Lovely to hear from you @Cairdeas 

@Anonymous enjoy your train ride to meet a fellow member of the community

I like to give to my friends from the 

[Anonymous]

Tbf @Anonymous the person i was going to take a trip to was you!

[Cleoriff]

So I return from a siesta and read some lovely stories of friendship here.

Thanks to @TallTrees and @pgn (so pleased you were reunited with @Cairdeas )

@AnonymousI'm sorry you aren't well so thanks for your post and @Anonymous thank you for sharing all that.

It's true we can be what we want when we are on the internet, presenting one face whilst hiding behind something else.

Surely though that's up to the individual? As long as no-one is downright nasty or evil I can tolerate anyone. Doesn't mean I am friends with them or like them very much.

I was a moderator on another forum. Some people I liked a lot and considered friends, others I wouldn't give the time of day to. Sadly (and still talking about that forum), there was one person who thought as I was a women he could rage at me and call me all manner of names and question my 'intelligence'.

He didn't last long. Even though he was an admin and senior to me in position, the two other admins put paid to his length of time there. I saw that as friendship of a kind.

They would rather lose him than me. Probably due to the fact I contributed more to the forum

As for meeting people from a forum, I have met two in person from here. (it was pre-arranged though) My opinion of them didn't change when I met them. We were friends before and hope we are still friends today.

Thanks to everyone who has participated thus far. Here's to friendship.

[jonsie]

I totally agree with the comments above by people I consider to be friends. Only three of you do I exchange messages with, either via PM or via social media. That's mainly because I'm not very good at exchanging everyday pleasantries hence belated replies due to other everyday things that are happening.

This community has got me through some dark times both at the time of my accident when I was in ICU overseas for three months and during a nine month stay in Salford Royal. Just as the three mentioned got me through in more recent times when I felt myself sliding into a bottomless pit. Only two of you were aware just how bad things got for me.

Physical friends are few in the UK (I have good friends of over fifty years) although I have many in my adopted country. Whether I will ever go back is dependent on my health and my desire. If not I will be giving so much up.

However, be that as it may. I've learned not to make long term plans.

[blissgirl]

Ditto to what everyone has said

[Cleoriff]

Thanks for posting @blissgirl and @jonsie 

Lovely to read stories from everyone.

@jonsieyou are a bit of a hero really. You have had some terrible times and still manage to make others laugh. A dear friend to many of us here and long may it last.

I've enjoyed this more  than I thought I would. Friendship and what it means to me is often different to others.

Cheers again everyone.