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perksie
Posts: 24,748
Topics: 229
Registered: ‎29-07-2008

Fifty Shades of Grey - Pam Ayres style!

[ Edited ]

FIFTY SHADES OF GREY - (a husband's point of view)

 
The missus bought a Paperback,
down Shepton Mallet way,
I had a look inside her bag;
... T'was "Fifty Shades of Grey".
Well I just left her to it,
And then I went to bed.
An hour later she appeared;
The sight filled me with dread...
In her left she held a rope;
And in her right a whip!
She threw them down upon the floor,
And then began to strip.
Well fifty years or so ago;
I might have had a peek;
But Mabel hasn't weathered well;
She's eighty four next week!!
Watching Mabel bump and grind;
Could not have been much grimmer.
And things then went from bad to worse;
She toppled off her Zimmer!
She struggled back upon her feet;
A couple minutes later;
She put her teeth back in and said
I am a dominator !!
Now if you knew our Mabel,
You'd see just why I spluttered,
I'd spent two months in traction
For the last complaint I'd uttered.
She stood there rude and naked
Bent forward just a bit
I went to hold her, sensual like
and stood on her left xxx!
Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;
My God what had I done!?
She moaned and groaned then shouted out:
"Step on the other one"!!
Well readers, I can't tell no more;
About what occurred that day.
Suffice to say my jet black hair,
Turned fifty shades of grey.
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jonsie
Posts: 21,582
Topics: 177
Registered: ‎04-01-2009

Re: Fifty Shades of Grey - Pam Ayres style!

Ah...the enlightment of a good novel! Very funny:smileyvery-happy:

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Liquid
Posts: 5,942
Registered: ‎18-09-2012

Re: Fifty Shades of Grey - Pam Ayres style!

Haha best thing ever:smileyvery-happy:
Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong. So Ive been told :smileywink:
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stuart1983
Posts: 4,189
Registered: ‎22-04-2012

Re: Fifty Shades of Grey - Pam Ayres style!

That's Shepton mallet all over ha ha
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perksie
Posts: 24,748
Topics: 229
Registered: ‎29-07-2008

Re: Fifty Shades of Grey - Pam Ayres style!

Is that near you, I used to cover that area working?

Please support the Disasters Emergency Committee appeal to send help to the Philippines.
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stuart1983
Posts: 4,189
Registered: ‎22-04-2012

Re: Fifty Shades of Grey - Pam Ayres style!

Yeah I live about 20 minutes away from there
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perksie
Posts: 24,748
Topics: 229
Registered: ‎29-07-2008

Re: Fifty Shades of Grey - Pam Ayres style!

I used to live in Bradford on Avon.

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stuart1983
Posts: 4,189
Registered: ‎22-04-2012

Re: Fifty Shades of Grey - Pam Ayres style!

Cool. How did you find it living around this area, I prefer it as its peaceful & lovely scenery
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perksie
Posts: 24,748
Topics: 229
Registered: ‎29-07-2008

Re: Fifty Shades of Grey - Pam Ayres style!

[ Edited ]

I loved the whole area thoroughly enjoyed it, very beautiful part of the country.

 

Also it was much easier to get to Cornwall where I have relations living, it's a bit of a trek from West Yorkshire.

 

Is Tucker's Grave pub still going?

Please support the Disasters Emergency Committee appeal to send help to the Philippines.
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jonsie
Posts: 21,582
Topics: 177
Registered: ‎04-01-2009

Re: Fifty Shades of Grey - Pam Ayres style!


perksie wrote:

Is Tucker's Grave pub still going?


Small world, been there. Great place for a night out:smileyhappy:

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