cancel
Showing results for 
Search instead for 
Did you mean: 

....You are having a laugh!

jonsie
Level 94: Supreme
  • 93236 Posts
  • 609 Topics
  • 6980 Solutions
Registered:

Right I'm off to hit the seedy nightlife in Pattaya (well it is Friday night) but I thought I would share this with you and leave before the incoming flak!!...it made me chuckle anyway Smiley Very Happy

 

Once upon a time, in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six days. Eventually, Archangel Michael found him on the seventh day resting. He enquired of God, 'Where have you been?'

God pointed downwards through the clouds. Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, 'What is it?'

'It's a planet,' replied God, 'and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance.'

'Balance?' inquired Michael, still confused.

God explained, pointing down to different parts of the Earth. 'For example, North America will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while South America is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot, and Russia will be a cold spot. Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people.'

God continued, pointing to the different countries.

This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice.'

The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to another area of land and asked, 'What's that?'

'Ah,' said God. That's the North of England, the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful people, seven Premiership football teams in the North West alone, and many impressive cities;  it is the home of the world's finest artists, musicians, writers, thinkers, explorers and politicians. The people from the North of England are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they're going to be found travelling the world. They'll be extremely sociable, hard-working and high-achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as speakers of truth.'

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, 'What about balance God, you said there will be BALANCE!'

God replied very wisely, 'Wait till you see the bunch of tossers I'm putting down South

 

Posted with tongue firmly -in-cheek!:smileywink:

Message 1 of 7
719 Views
6 REPLIES 6

perksie
Level 69: Guiding Light
  • 27019 Posts
  • 247 Topics
  • 1614 Solutions
Registered:

ROFL. Brilliant!!! Smiley LOL

 

Enjoy your night out jonsie.

To support Disasters Emergency Committee: http://www.dec.org.uk/appeals text Nepal to 70000 to send £5

Sky Unlimited Broadband - Windows 10 - Nexus 4 Android 5.1.1
Message 2 of 7
714 Views

Anonymous
Not applicable
Ha ha, cool, enjoy
Message 3 of 7
691 Views

Anonymous
Not applicable

Thank you for the smile you've just placed on my face.

 

 

wink

Message 4 of 7
684 Views

jonsie
Level 94: Supreme
  • 93236 Posts
  • 609 Topics
  • 6980 Solutions
Registered:

Liquid
Level 44: Clearly Talented
  • 5942 Posts
  • 98 Topics
  • 305 Solutions
Registered:
I think the map was the wrong way up:)
Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong. So Ive been told wink
Message 6 of 7
657 Views

perksie
Level 69: Guiding Light
  • 27019 Posts
  • 247 Topics
  • 1614 Solutions
Registered:

@Liquid wrote:
I think the map was the wrong way up:)

Shh, don't tell everyone! slight_smile

To support Disasters Emergency Committee: http://www.dec.org.uk/appeals text Nepal to 70000 to send £5

Sky Unlimited Broadband - Windows 10 - Nexus 4 Android 5.1.1
Message 7 of 7
652 Views