on 10-10-2017 21:30
I've also got to host my brother and sister from up North, as they're not well off and hotels around here are crazy expensive. So until the funeral is done with I've got to be strong for the rest of them.
I will however be taking some time to heal afterwards, as I'm already exhausted tbh. My illness that's playing up atm already saps my strength, and coupled with the emotions I'm a bit of a mess. Hah I've even managed to black my eye from crying so much then rubbing my eyes 🙄
Thankfully my OH has been great and is taking good care of me. You're right tho, it's a day at a time. I've just climbed into bed and can't remember the last time I felt so grateful for it being the end of the day...
Thanks for the compliment on the paintings, Dad would've been well chuffed. He was always amazed at anything online lol and after teaching himself to text on a candy bar phone, deemed himself 'new age' 🤣🤣 bless!
on 10-10-2017 21:37
on 10-10-2017 21:53
I was not close to my dad. I loved him but didn't like him very much for reasons I won't go into on this forum. My mother, on the other hand I loved dearly and was very close to.
Their deaths in 1987 and 1994 respectively affected me differently. I grieved for both but my mum's death hit me the hardest. Having no family in the UK it was my friends that got me through the worst of it.
As @Cleoriff says it will get easier but it will take time, a lot of time. You will never forget your dad but the grief will become easier to bear though it too will never be forgotten.
I still think of my mum and dad with love for all the things they did for me, for the values they instilled in me and, most of all, for the love they gave me all their lives.
The love you have for your dad and the love you know he had for you will help in the healing process I hope. And I wish you all the best.
10-10-2017 22:36 - edited 10-10-2017 22:37
Thank you for letting us see 2 more of your dad's wonderful paintings ... yes, I can see the double decker bus ... & ... a lucky black cat in the other one ... what absolutely fantastic semi-abstract style of painting your dad had
My dad Roy died January 2016 ... I'm a proud daddy's girl as no doubt you are ... it fell to me to tell everyone about dad's demise & I clearly remember telling an Aunt of mine 'I don't know how I can face the funeral' ... but ... things fell into place despite my sister being a diva about it all ... & ... my mum understandably deteriorating into frail mental ill health = they were married age 21 & in their 80's ... mum btw is still going onwards
I cried a lot gindygoo, in private, I live on my own
I think about my dear dad everyday
Please take care to look after yourself gindygoo ... ... ... we're all here for you
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on 11-10-2017 11:13
I didn't when my mum passed and bottled everything up - not healthy as I nearly hospitalised myself with illness when it all came out several months later.
There will be times when you need to be the strong one, but equally there should be times when you are not and someone (or multiple someones) are picking up your pieces.
on 11-10-2017 11:42
Me and my sister are going to go round to Dad's flat either tomorrow or Friday to try and make a start on clearing that. Or at least get the things that are sentimentally important before enlisting the help of others to do the heavier work.
As with most oldsters my Dad hoarded a little bit. He's of that age where you didn't throw anything away. As he always thought "it'd come in useful" 🤷 So that'll probably take quite a while!
I'd like to thank everyone who's offered condolences and advice. I'm really very grateful, reading through this thread has given me strength and wisdom. You guys rock xx
on 11-10-2017 12:15
Above all, when you have the death certificate and go to register it, they will let you see the bereavement department who will do a lot of things for you.
Take one day at a time and set aside some me time. Please don't take it upon yourself to try and do everything alone and take the burden off others. This is the time for family to rally around and help one another. If you ever need to talk or want general advice you have plenty of friends here who have all had to go through what you are experiencing now. X