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Re: πŸŽ„πŸŽ…πŸ»One Sentence Christmas Panto πŸŽ…πŸ»πŸŽ„

Great @Cleoriff ... Good luck with that thenπŸ€ͺ
Glad Holly and Noel got the egg! πŸ˜‚


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Re: πŸŽ„πŸŽ…πŸ»One Sentence Christmas Panto πŸŽ…πŸ»πŸŽ„

[ Edited ]

Ohmigosh, I'll have to read it all again?

Might need to give a PG Certificate advisory, @Cleoriff, a couple of bad eggs had a hand or two in the telling... πŸ€£πŸ‘

Great craic, and not at all scary, much πŸ˜±πŸ‘»πŸ˜„

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Re: πŸŽ„πŸŽ…πŸ»One Sentence Christmas Panto πŸŽ…πŸ»πŸŽ„

Thanks @TallTrees and @pgn 

It went exactly the way I hoped it would. Pantomimes can be very boring and this one certainly was not.

I loved the way Mother Goose made an appearance, despite the fact she was never mentioned in the panto title LOL (probably felt a little sidelined) Dance

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Re: πŸŽ„πŸŽ…πŸ»One Sentence Christmas Panto πŸŽ…πŸ»πŸŽ„

[ Edited ]

Thank you @Cleoriff for setting this up.

Loved it. And thanks to everyone - even if "some of us", myself included, let it get a little bit naughty...

Great fun joy and a splendid time was guaranteed for all...  

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Some people see things as they are and ask "Why?"; I dream of things that never were and ask "Why not?"...
Robert Kennedy.

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Re: πŸŽ„πŸŽ…πŸ»One Sentence Christmas Panto πŸŽ…πŸ»πŸŽ„


@Mi-Amigo wrote:

Thank you @Cleoriff for setting this up.

Loved it. And thanks to everyone - even if "some of us", myself included, let it get a little bit naughty...

Great fun joy and a splendid time was guaranteed for all...  


It was great @Mi-Amigo 

I have just spent over an hour copying and pasting line by line into the full story.

The one thing which struck me was, Cinderella wasn't mentioned at all. LOL

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Re: πŸŽ„πŸŽ…πŸ»One Sentence Christmas Panto πŸŽ…πŸ»πŸŽ„


@Cleoriff wrote

The one thing which struck me was, Cinderella wasn't mentioned at all. LOL


The Sugly Isters were, though πŸ€£πŸ‘

 

No Widow Twanky, no Fairy Godmother... Don't know

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Re: πŸŽ„πŸŽ…πŸ»One Sentence Christmas Panto πŸŽ…πŸ»πŸŽ„


@pgn wrote:

@Cleoriff wrote

The one thing which struck me was, Cinderella wasn't mentioned at all. LOL


The Sugly Isters were, though πŸ€£πŸ‘

 

No Widow Twanky, no Fairy Godmother... Don't know


Yeah, however, I couldn't mention every pantomime character @pgn rofl

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Re: πŸŽ„πŸŽ…πŸ»One Sentence Christmas Panto πŸŽ…πŸ»πŸŽ„

Anything goes in Panto - and so it did!
Now looking forward to the (edited) compilation, I think... πŸ‘ŒπŸ€£
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Re: πŸŽ„πŸŽ…πŸ»One Sentence Christmas Panto πŸŽ…πŸ»πŸŽ„

Nothing edited at all @pgn rofl

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Re: πŸŽ„πŸŽ…πŸ»One Sentence Christmas Panto πŸŽ…πŸ»πŸŽ„

So everyone, here's the story in full. Many thanks to the script writers...rofl

@Mi-Amigo@pgn @TallTrees @Anonymous @gmarkj @jonsie @MI5  and @LukasB 

 

It was a cold wintry night in a place called Charmless. It was Christmas week and pantomime season.

Two children, a brother and sister called Holly and Noel were in town looking at the Theatre where the pantomime was being shown.

It was a new pantomime called β€˜Cinderella, Snow White and Aladdin meet Puss in Boots and Jack with his Beanstalk’.

The children were very sad. They were poor and knew they couldn’t afford to see the pantomime.

Despondently, they started to walk away when suddenly they heard someone call their names.

They turned around and saw a jolly looking man with a white beard dressed in a red jacket and trousers and black boots.  He had two golden tickets in his hand.

He said β€˜Holly and Noel, as you have been very good this year, I’m going to give you tickets to see the pantomime’

The children thanked him, took the tickets and entered the theatre. They were met by an elf who gave them popcorn and took them to their seats.

Full of excitement, they sat and waited for the show to start. Music began to play and the curtains slowly opened.

Then……..

 

Holly and Noel heard something... A strange muttering from the seats further back in the theatre...

 

Not wishing to miss the main feature, they ignored it... but the whispering got louder: "Look out behind you!"...

 

'I didn’t know seats could talk’ said Holly with a surprised look on her face.

 

Before Holly and Noel could turn round, a voice boomed from the stage...

"Hello children. Are you sitting comfortably? Then we`ll begin"

 

From the very top of the stage came a bright gleaming light

 

An alien ship, maybe?

 

The shuffling and rustling behind them now forgotten, Holly and NoΓ«l gawped at the light ahead and above them. "It Could Be You!" boomed down...

 

"Or an angel" said Holly, smiling sweetly innocent

 

No ......it was Aladdins lamp

 

The light slowly changed, a crescendo of twinkly music, and... the national lottery music started playing

 

"Oooooh. Think what we could do with a quizzillian pounds" said Holly and Noel together

 

The rustling behind them moved to the aisle, and a hissing, golden goose suddenly appeared, waddling up towards the orchestra pit...

 

and laid an egg.

 

Out of the light on stage, the figure of man with wild blond hair appeared... Baron Boris Tightwad... who said "Kids. All you think about is wanting money. You`re as bad as that Cinderella!!"

 

The two ugly sisters raged WE WANT THE GOLDEN EGG!!

 

The goose hiccupped, and hissed and burped and lo... πŸ’©! Holly looked aghast, NoΓ«l giggled loudly... 

 

When all of a sudden the egg cracked and ...

 

... from the gleaming gold shell arose the powerful Genie... "phenomenal cosmic powers, itty bitty, close to crappy, living space!... 

 

The Genie spoke, in a soft gentle tone "To the next person who appears before me, I`ll grant three wishes"...

 

Noel hopped over the seat in front of him in his exuberance... Holly simply set her foot on the plush carpeting in the aisle and said: "Abracadabra, Alekazam - them 3 wishes for me, Sam-I-Am!"... 

 

Suddenly, there was a very loud fart. Holly gave Noel a filthy look and said "That was you". Noel shook his head and said "Oh no it wasn`t". Everyone in the theatre and on stage replied "Oh yes it was" 

 

Holly insisted: "Noel, if you don't take that back, I shall thcweam and thcweam until I'm thick!", and pouted petulantly... 

 

The Genie disappeared in a puff of smoke and the stage was empty until....

 

 'Is anyone interested in Jacks beanstalk?'

asked a voice from the wings of the stage... "We are" yelled Noel and Holly together

 

Noel retorted: "See, Holly, you scared him away, with your foot-stamping, you silly moo!", and, buttons awry, he slumped down in the front row, just in range of... 

 

Jack who wandered on stage muttering....

 

"Where's my bean plant ?"

 

"Or do I mean 'Where's my stalk bean?'". Jack scratched his head thoughtfully, oblivious to... 

 

Holly shouting "I bet it`s big". "Yeah, Jack`s got a big `un, so I`ve heard" giggled Noel…

 

... from his seat in the front row. "Careful, Jack, you nearly had my eye out with that!". Griselda, the fatter ugly sister, interjected... 

 

"It`s gruesome" said Griselda. "Have another look, it`s grew some more" said Jack

 

Metre by metre, (for t'was not yet the time of full Transition!), the stalk grew longer, until it penetrated the fluffy grey clouds that surrounded the overhead land of... 

 

Blunderland, where all manner of mad folks and scary creatures lived...

 

With a quick flash As quick as a flash, Holly scampered up the gnarly stalk, disappearing from view of Jack, Griselda, Buttons and the cowering Genie... "Fee, fi, fo, fum" was heard from the clouds above... 

 

and an ear-piercing shriek from Holly. "What`s happened to my sister?" screamed a terrified Noel

 

Holly got mixed up with the 7 dwarfs...

 

Bashful's friend, Bo, peeped through the clouds, reassuring Jack that Holly had only slipped and Shaun the Sheep had caught her before she fell, landing on her country seat... 

 

On a tuffet next to Little Miss Muffet, when the giant spider appeared...

 

Aladdin rubbed his lamp and the Genie appeared and gobbled up the spider, at which point....

 

Jack decided it was time to see what all the ruckus was about, so boosted by Griselda, he hauled himself up the stalk. As his head emerged above the clouds...

 

A giant seagull pooped on his head!

 

Shaking his head to dislodge it, he couldn't believe his eyes...

 

"Not again!", was the thought that crossed Jack's mind. But he was not one to harp on about guano, so...

Jack eventually climbed the bean stalk onto a new stage to see a giant sitting at a table eating......

 

HOLLY!

'holy forkin scheiser’ exclaimed Jack

 

Hearing this, Noel began to cry. Jack shouted "No. It`s not your sister the giant is eating, just holly leaves and berries, the idiot"...

 

The 7 dwarfs were making yummy cakes for the giant and they had Holly and Berry sugar icing on. The Giant saw Jack and...

 

the Giant boomed "Fe fi fo fum, I smell the blood..." and…

Snow White screamed it's CHRISTMAS (a bit like Noddy Holder) ! Only eat goose crispy skin and lots of golden eggs…. the Giant laughed and...

Pulled out the whipped cream.

 

Which went all over Snow White`s dress and Aladdin`s silver balls

 

Enter Puss in boots… now he has been pursuing the golden egg for a long time because he is greedy so sword in hand (paw) he demanded the golden egg.....

 

... sitting still until he could tell which one was the real one (Puss had been at the egg nog) and was four sheets...

Poor Puss in Boots, his cavalier hat tipped over his eyes whilst he staggered about...that egg is somewhere here he muttered...Snow White also wanted the egg and shouted you clumsy Puss in Boots you'll break that egg then.....

 

Aladdin said "Don`t worry Snow White, I`ll get you the egg", to which a slight drunk Puss said "Oh yeh. Yooz lookin for a fight?"

 

Meanwhile, whilst all this furore was going on, Holly and Noel crept out of the theatre with the golden egg shoved down Noels trousers and ran all the way home, laughing and giggling.

This was the maddest pantomime they had ever experienced and they loved it.

 

THE END

 

PS...Just to let you know, the National Pantomime Society have been in touch. They are quite keen for us to write a script for next year,....LOL

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