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Friday's Funny Finding

pgn
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If Technology teaches us anything... 

Sometimes, the tried and tested ways are best. 

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Cleoriff
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@pgn wrote:

4 days with a rough cough is enough, though ...


😂🤣

Veritas Numquam Perit

Girl in a jacket
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pgn
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A passenger in the back of a taxi cab tapped the cab driver on the shoulder to ask him something.

The driver let out a scream, lost control of the car, narrowly avoided a bus, mounted the pavement, and stopped mere inches away from a woman with a baby stroller.

For a second everything went quiet in the taxi cab.  Then the driver said, "Hey, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!"

The passenger apologised and said he didn't realise a little tap on the shoulder would scare him so much.

The driver replied, "I'm sorry. It's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a taxi cab driver. I've been driving a hearse for the last 25 years."

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Cleoriff
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@pgn 

Brilliant 😂

Veritas Numquam Perit

Girl in a jacket
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jonsie
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pgn
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A high-ranking Army officer decided to inspect some of the soldiers in one of the field hospitals he commanded. 

He marched into one of the tents, saw 3 enlisted men, each on a makeshift bed along one side of the cramped space.

He went up to the first private and barked, "What's your affliction, private?" 

Saluting whilst supine, the private replied, "Venereal warts, SIR!"

“And what treatment are you getting?" asked the officer.

"Five minutes with the wire brush every day, SIR!"

“And what's your ambition, soldier?" inquired the officer.

"To get back to the frontline, SIR!"

The officer went onto the next soldier, lying prone on his crib. "What's your affliction, private?" 

"Chronic piles, SIR!, came the response.

"And what treatment are you getting?"

"Five minutes with the wire brush every day, SIR!"

"And what's your ambition, soldier?"

"To get back to the frontline, SIR!"

 The officer went up to the last man, also a private, who, although ghost-like, pallid and apprehensive, stood quickly to attention next to his crib.

Taking it down a notch, the officer asked, "What's your affliction, son?" 

"Gingivitis, sir."

"And what treatment are you getting?"

"Five minutes with the wire brush every day, sir."

"And what's your ambition, soldier?"

"TO GET THE WIRE BRUSH BEFORE THOSE OTHER GUYS, SIR!!"

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Cleoriff
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Ugh! I should think so SIR!! 😂

Veritas Numquam Perit

Girl in a jacket
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Oxonian
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@pgn wrote:

A passenger in the back of a taxi cab tapped the cab driver on the shoulder to ask him something.

The driver let out a scream, lost control of the car, narrowly avoided a bus, mounted the pavement, and stopped mere inches away from a woman with a baby stroller.

For a second everything went quiet in the taxi cab.  Then the driver said, "Hey, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!"

The passenger apologised and said he didn't realise a little tap on the shoulder would scare him so much.

The driver replied, "I'm sorry. It's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a taxi cab driver. I've been driving a hearse for the last 25 years."


 

 

That is splendid @pgn ! 🤣

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Oxonian
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Almost brings tears to your eyes @pgn ! 🤣

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pgn
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Back in the Middle Ages each monastery specialized in something the monks made that was sold to support the monastery.

 

A man living in Canterbury heard about a monastery that made the very best fish and chips. 

 

This monastery was in the far north of England, near Carlisle. It being the middle ages, the trek was rather arduous, but the man saved up what he could and set forth on foot to fulfill his desire for the very best fish and chips that could be had.

 

The journey was tedious and sometimes dangerous, but eventually, one day as the sun was setting, the man arrived at the gates of the monastery just in time to see one of the brothers closing the gate against the night. 

 

The man  rushed up to him and asked, "Are you the fish friar?" to which the monk serenely replied,

“No, I am the chip monk."

 

😖

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jonsie
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