Friday's Funny Finding

[pgn]

If Technology teaches us anything... 

Sometimes, the tried and tested ways are best. 

[Oxonian]

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@pgn wrote:

Back in the Middle Ages each monastery specialized in something the monks made that was sold to support the monastery.

A man living in Canterbury heard about a monastery that made the very best fish and chips. 

This monastery was in the far north of England, near Carlisle. It being the middle ages, the trek was rather arduous, but the man saved up what he could and set forth on foot to fulfill his desire for the very best fish and chips that could be had.

The journey was tedious and sometimes dangerous, but eventually, one day as the sun was setting, the man arrived at the gates of the monastery just in time to see one of the brothers closing the gate against the night. 

The man  rushed up to him and asked, "Are you the fish friar?" to which the monk serenely replied,

“No, I am the chip monk."

😖

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Funny @pgn ! 👍

[pgn]

A shipment of Viagra was hijacked on its way to the depot. The police are warning citizens to be on the look out for a gang of hardened criminals.

[jonsie]

[Cleoriff]

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@pgn wrote:

A shipment of Viagra was hijacked on its way to the depot. The police are warning citizens to be on the look out for a gang of hardened criminals.

---

Excellent @pgn 😂

[pgn]

A man was walking in the woods when he spied a little man no taller than a large 7-up bottle. The man grabbed the little man garbed in green.

“Aye! You caught me,” exclaimed the leprechaun. “I’ll tell ya what. I’ll give you three wishes and ye let me go.”

The man thought about it for a nanosecond and replied,”Money. I need money.”

“Just wait! You’ll see.”

“A car. A fast car.”

“It’ll happen. What else?”

The man said, “Women, lots of women.”

The leprechaun winked and said, “Just wait!”

The man let the leprechaun go and the two parted ways.

Fast forward a year. The man was walking in the woods and saw the leprechaun again. The leprechaun saw him as well.

“I remember you!” the leprechaun squeaked in a singsong voice. “You caught me last year and I gave you three wishes. What was the first one? Oh yes, money. How’d that work out?”

The man pulled out a wad of notes that could choke a horse.

“Splendid!” the leprechaun said, delighted. “What else? Oh yeah, a car.”

Smiling, the man said, ”I have a Ferrari parked right over there.”

“Fantastic! Now how about your third wish?”

The man grinned ear-to-ear and said softly, “I got laid three times last year!”

The leprechaun was dismayed and replies, “Three times? That’s not very good!”

The man replied, “Hey, for a priest in a small town I can’t complain!”

😁

[Cleoriff]

Great punchline @pgn 😂

[jonsie]

Chuckles @pgn 😂

At least I think it was chuckles, could just have been my teeth chattering! 😁

[Oxonian]

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@pgn wrote:

A shipment of Viagra was hijacked on its way to the depot. The police are warning citizens to be on the look out for a gang of hardened criminals.

---

Funny @pgn ! 🤣

[Oxonian]

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@pgn wrote:

A man was walking in the woods when he spied a little man no taller than a large 7-up bottle. The man grabbed the little man garbed in green.

“Aye! You caught me,” exclaimed the leprechaun. “I’ll tell ya what. I’ll give you three wishes and ye let me go.”

The man thought about it for a nanosecond and replied,”Money. I need money.”

“Just wait! You’ll see.”

“A car. A fast car.”

“It’ll happen. What else?”

The man said, “Women, lots of women.”

The leprechaun winked and said, “Just wait!”

The man let the leprechaun go and the two parted ways.

Fast forward a year. The man was walking in the woods and saw the leprechaun again. The leprechaun saw him as well.

“I remember you!” the leprechaun squeaked in a singsong voice. “You caught me last year and I gave you three wishes. What was the first one? Oh yes, money. How’d that work out?”

The man pulled out a wad of notes that could choke a horse.

“Splendid!” the leprechaun said, delighted. “What else? Oh yeah, a car.”

Smiling, the man said, ”I have a Ferrari parked right over there.”

“Fantastic! Now how about your third wish?”

The man grinned ear-to-ear and said softly, “I got laid three times last year!”

The leprechaun was dismayed and replies, “Three times? That’s not very good!”

The man replied, “Hey, for a priest in a small town I can’t complain!”

😁

---

Even funnier @pgn ! 🤣

[MI5]

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, 'Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon.'

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.

'Good morning, he said, "I've come to..."

"Oh, no need to explain," Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, "I've been expecting you."

'Have you really?" Said the photographer. "Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?"

"Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat."

After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"

"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there."

"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!"

"Well, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."

"My, that's a lot!" Gasped Mrs. Smith.

"In my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be In and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that."

"Don't I know it," said Mrs. Smith quietly.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus," he said.

"Oh, my God!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.

"And these twins turned out exceptionally well, when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with."

"She was difficult?" Asked Mrs. Smith.

"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look."

"Four and five deep?" Said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.

"Yes", the photographer replied, "And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in."

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh .. . . .equipment?"

"It's true, yes. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away."

"Tripod?"

"Oh yes, I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand for very long."

Mrs. Smith fainted.