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Friday's Funny Finding

pgn
Level 77: Grand Master
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If Technology teaches us anything... 

Sometimes, the tried and tested ways are best. 

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Oxonian
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@pgn wrote:

Try this one for size, @Cleoriff:

Mary had a little watch,

she swallowed it one day.

Then Mary took a laxative

to pass the time away.

Well, time went on and time went on,

and time still wouldn't pass.

So, if you want to know what time it is,
just look up Mary's brother in Omaha. He's got a Rolex.

 

😁


 

You are on a roll @pgn ! 🤣

Message 581 of 641
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Oxonian
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@pgn wrote:

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications and intimacy, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as: Poker Night 5.0, European League 3.0 and Golf 4.1

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and House cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?
Signed, Desperate

 

Dear Desperate,

First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: I thought you loved me.html and try to download Tears 6.2

Do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.

If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1.

Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download  Fart 2.0 and the Snoring Loudly Beta version.

Whatever you do, DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Mother-In-Law 1.0 as it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.

In addition, please do not attempt to re-install the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.

You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance.
We recommend Cooking 3.0.

Good Luck!


 

@pgn 

👍

Message 582 of 641
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Cleoriff
Level 94: Supreme
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@Oxonian wrote:

@pgn wrote:

Try this one for size, @Cleoriff:

Mary had a little watch,

she swallowed it one day.

Then Mary took a laxative

to pass the time away.

Well, time went on and time went on,

and time still wouldn't pass.

So, if you want to know what time it is,
just look up Mary's brother in Omaha. He's got a Rolex.

 

😁


 

You are on a roll @pgn ! 🤣


I missed this @pgn Brilliant 😂

Veritas Numquam Perit

Girl in a jacket
Message 583 of 641
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Cleoriff
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Registered:

@Oxonian wrote:

@pgn wrote:

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications and intimacy, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as: Poker Night 5.0, European League 3.0 and Golf 4.1

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and House cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?
Signed, Desperate

 

Dear Desperate,

First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: I thought you loved me.html and try to download Tears 6.2

Do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.

If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1.

Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download  Fart 2.0 and the Snoring Loudly Beta version.

Whatever you do, DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Mother-In-Law 1.0 as it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.

In addition, please do not attempt to re-install the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.

You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance.
We recommend Cooking 3.0.

Good Luck!


 

@pgn 

👍


Yes I can relate to this @pgn. Really rings a bell. 😂

Veritas Numquam Perit

Girl in a jacket
Message 584 of 641
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pgn
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Ethel invited her new neighbor Jane over for dinner and introduced her cats.

"That's Alogue, Aract, Erpillar, Egory Astrophe and Amaran,”
she said.

Jane, surprised, asked, “Where
on earth did you get those names?

“Oh, those are their last names,” Ethel said. “Their first names are Cat.”

 

😻

Message 585 of 641
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pgn
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Message 586 of 641
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Cleoriff
Level 94: Supreme
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@pgn wrote:

Ethel invited her new neighbor Jane over for dinner and introduced her cats.

"That's Alogue, Aract, Erpillar, Egory Astrophe and Amaran,”
she said.

Jane, surprised, asked, “Where
on earth did you get those names?

“Oh, those are their last names,” Ethel said. “Their first names are Cat.”

 

😻


Just brilliant @pgn 😂

Veritas Numquam Perit

Girl in a jacket
Message 587 of 641
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Cleoriff
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@pgn wrote:

1000025661.jpg

😁


Very true 😂

Veritas Numquam Perit

Girl in a jacket
Message 588 of 641
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Oxonian
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John Cleese received a lovely Cellnet mobile from Leslie Phillips, much to the annoyance of Ronnie Corbett in 1993 :-

 

(20) UKADS on X: "John Cleese received a lovely Cellnet mobile from Leslie Phillips, much to the ann...

https://x.com/ukads3/status/1837748770357801341?s=03

 

Message 589 of 641
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Oxonian
Level 36: Perceptive
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Registered:

@pgn wrote:

Ethel invited her new neighbor Jane over for dinner and introduced her cats.

"That's Alogue, Aract, Erpillar, Egory Astrophe and Amaran,”
she said.

Jane, surprised, asked, “Where
on earth did you get those names?

“Oh, those are their last names,” Ethel said. “Their first names are Cat.”

 

😻


 

That's funny @pgn ; just glad they weren't goldfish ! 😀

Message 590 of 641
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