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Friday's Funny Finding

pgn
Level 77: Grand Master
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If Technology teaches us anything... 

Sometimes, the tried and tested ways are best. 

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Cleoriff
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Very funny @pgn 😂

Veritas Numquam Perit

Girl in a jacket
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pgn
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Patton staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy George.

He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife Kathleen and tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom but misjudged the bottom step.

As he caught himself by grabbing the banister his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump.

A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful.

Managing not to yell, Patton clambered, up, pulled down his trousers, looked in the hall mirror and saw that his butt cheeks were cut and bleeding.

He managed to quietly find a full box of Elastoplasts and began putting a plaster as best he could on each place he saw blood.

He then hid the now almost empty plaster box and shuffled and stumbled his way to bed.

In the morning, Patton woke up with searing pain in both head and butt and saw Kathleen staring at him icily from across the room.

She said, 'You were drunk again last night, weren't you?'

Patton said, ‘What makes you say that?’

'Well,' Kathleen said, 'it could be the open front door, it could be
the broken glass at the bottom
of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but mostly it's all those sticking plasters stuck on the hall mirror.’

 

😖

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BobM
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Good one @pgn  🤣

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Cleoriff
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😂Brilliant @pgn 😂

Veritas Numquam Perit

Girl in a jacket
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jonsie
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gmarkj
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very good laugh on a friday!

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Oxonian
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Very funny @pgn ! 😀

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Oxonian
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@pgn wrote:

A 54-year-old accountant left a letter for his wife one evening which read: "Dear Wife, I am 54 years old, and by the time you get this letter I will be at the Grand Hotel with my beautiful and sexy eighteen year old secretary."

When he arrived at the hotel, there was a letter waiting for him that read as follows: "Dear Husband, I too am 54 years old, and by the time you receive this letter I will be at the Savoy Hotel with my eighteen year old toy-boy. Because you are an accountant, you will surely appreciate that 18 goes into 54 many more times than 54 goes into 18."

 

🤣


 

Very amusing @pgn ! 🤣

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Oxonian
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@pgn wrote:

A king’s daughter married the prince of a neighboring kingdom. He couldn't bear that his precious darling was going away with another man, so he called his best spy and told him to check on her to ensure she was being treated well.

The next day the spy reported, “The princess was treated as a true royal. The people loved her and there was a large parade to welcome her.”

“Then what happened?” asked the king.
“My Lord, they retired to the royal bedroom,” said the spy.

“Then what happened?”, asked the king.

“Well, the princess said, "Dear noble prince, I offer you my honour.", to which the prince said, "My lady, I honour your offer."”

“Then what happened?”, asked the king.

“The same thing, my lord – honour, offer, honour, offer the whole night.”


 

Very amusing too @pgn ! 🤣

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Oxonian
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@pgn wrote:

A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel.

They were standing in the hotel atrium lobby discussing their recent tournament victories when the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.

''But why?'' they asked as they moved off.

''Because,'' he said ''I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.''

 

🤣


 

That's a bit corny @pgn ! 😆

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