Fifty Shades of Grey - Pam Ayres style!

[perksie]

FIFTY SHADES OF GREY - (a husband's point of view)

The missus bought a Paperback,

down Shepton Mallet way,

I had a look inside her bag;

... T'was "Fifty Shades of Grey".

Well I just left her to it,

And then I went to bed.

An hour later she appeared;

The sight filled me with dread...

In her left she held a rope;

And in her right a whip!

She threw them down upon the floor,

And then began to strip.

Well fifty years or so ago;

I might have had a peek;

But Mabel hasn't weathered well;

She's eighty four next week!!

Watching Mabel bump and grind;

Could not have been much grimmer.

And things then went from bad to worse;

She toppled off her Zimmer!

She struggled back upon her feet;

A couple minutes later;

She put her teeth back in and said

I am a dominator !!

Now if you knew our Mabel,

You'd see just why I spluttered,

I'd spent two months in traction

For the last complaint I'd uttered.

She stood there rude and naked

Bent forward just a bit

I went to hold her, sensual like

and stood on her left xxx!

Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;

My God what had I done!?

She moaned and groaned then shouted out:

"Step on the other one"!!

Well readers, I can't tell no more;

About what occurred that day.

Suffice to say my jet black hair,

Turned fifty shades of grey.

[jonsie]

Ah...the enlightment of a good novel! Very funny

[Liquid]

Haha best thing ever:D

[Anonymous]

That's Shepton mallet all over ha ha

[perksie]

Is that near you, I used to cover that area working?

[Anonymous]

Yeah I live about 20 minutes away from there

[perksie]

I used to live in Bradford on Avon.

[Anonymous]

Cool. How did you find it living around this area, I prefer it as its peaceful & lovely scenery

[perksie]

I loved the whole area thoroughly enjoyed it, very beautiful part of the country.

Also it was much easier to get to Cornwall where I have relations living, it's a bit of a trek from West Yorkshire.

Is Tucker's Grave pub still going?

[jonsie]

---

@perksie wrote:

Is Tucker's Grave pub still going?

---

Small world, been there. Great place for a night out:smileyhappy: