Common Q & A's

[MI5]

If only there was a General Help & Guides section...

Here are the Qs & As I see most often.

Q: When making a phone call, I can't hear the person and they can hardly hear me.
A: You have the phone upside down. The square/round button goes at the bottom.

Q: I used my new phone to bang in some nails and now the screen is smashed.
A: You need rubber nails, readily available at your local hardware store. While you're there, ask for a long stand, some tartan paint and a left-handed screwdriver.

Q: I put Keys on my computer but cannot connect my phone, the keys just fell off and are now down the back of the computer desk.
A: You need to use Yale type keys, the mortice type are not compatible.

Q: My phone is constantly freezing.
A: Take your phone out of the freezer.

Q: On my iPhone, I could access the last 7 elves I spoke to on a Tuesday when there was a full moon.
A: You don't have an iPhone anymore. Get over it.

Q: All the photos I took over the last two years have been accidentally deleted, what should I do?
A: Lift up your hand and slap yourself on the forehead, get a hot flush, say "OH NOOOOOOOO".

Q: My old Nokia 4134582670 lasted four days on a charge but my new Galaxy lasts only a day. That's stupid.
A: What's stupid is expecting a mini computer to sip power from it's battery the same as that dumb old relic with a tiny screen. Really?

Q: I tried to follow Onan but my sister-in-law slapped me across the face.
A: Er. You need to use Odin. Onan was, er, Er's, er, brother. Er.

Q: Who invented liquid and why?
A: I don't know, but it's always a good idea to have an emergency credit card.

[Anonymous]

cool but hilarious at the same time

[Anonymous]

Awesome !

I see you managed to get a copy of a script from Live Chat ?

[MI5]

I thought I'd update some of their answers for them

[Anonymous]

Reminds me of a question and answer session with my 93 year old deaf father-in-law......whatever question is asked, the answer bears little connection.

For example :

Q: What did you have for lunch today ?
A: Meals-on-wheels bring it of course !....they come every day except Sunday, I've told you that before.

[Anonymous]

brilliant, must spend more time on here ......

[Anonymous]

That's a way better chat script, ever thought of being a live chat advisor mi5 lol

[perksie]

Post of the year so far, brilliant!

[perksie]

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@MI5 wrote:
I thought I'd update some of their answers for them

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They'll be using those on Twitter tomorrow!!:smileyhappy:

[MI5]

Feel free to add any more - I'm working on some early upgrade ones for the iBrigade