My daughter wants to disown me my wife says no more cooked food. Please help

[Anonymous]

Dear Big People at O2

I have a daughter who is 16 but believes she's 24. She's threatening to disown me, partly because I've moved to Ely near Cambridge. My wife hasn't quite reached my daughters level of frustration yet but I am now having to eat mostly microwave meals from the local supermarket. 

So what has this got to do with O2 and posting to this help forum? I'm glad you asked. You see, for my daughter, moving to a new town is stressful. All the friends she's grown fond of are now living three hours away. She misses them and apparently it's all my fault. She tries to BBM them in the morning on her way to school but they only get her message when she arrives back home (wireless zone) after school. She could of course text them but who texts nowadays? She can't Instagram photos of Ely to them, or use social media. It's very frustrating for her and it's all my fault. 

She blames me for not checking what the 3G/4G coverage in Ely was like before we moved here. I, like her, thought that as Ely was only a few miles from Cambridge (a hotbed of technological research and a nursery for the smartest computer scientists in the world) that 3G/4G would be a given. I was secretely even hoping we might get 5 or 6G but alas, we get none of that. What we did get is a symbol that I have not seen since I moved from Johannesburg, South Africa six years ago and possibly three years before then. It's a symbol that I had thought had gone the way of the fax or even the dreaded telex machine

Imagine my horror when she pointed out the "resurrected-from-the-dead "gprs" symbol to me on her trusty old iPhone 4 a day after we settled into our new home. "It must be a temporary problem dear. I'm sure no one uses gprs anymore" I said, quite sure that her technology obsessed Dad was right.

I started to panic a little when my lovely golden iPhone 5S displayed the same - gprs - symbol. "This cannot be real" and "I am living in a first world country" were thoughts that crossed my mind many times as I tried to sleep that night. I kept checking my phone throughout the night, hoping that the gprs symbol would just go away and in it's place would be the much loved 4G symbol that had graced my phone in Berkshire in a little town that has a high street with all of 7 stores. How wrong I was.

The next morning and the one after that and the one after that, the gprs symbol seemed to be etched into my phone. It simply would not go away no matter where I went. I drove around Ely holding my phone in my hand to see where I could find 4G or even 3G but there was not a single place that made me happy. Of course it's true to say that I did not cover every single square inch of Ely and for this I do apologise. I could have done better but although small, Ely is not that small. 

I came to the O2 website to look at the coverage map hoping that perhaps my iPhone was misbehaving and in reality you really did have 3/4G coverage and I was just being a little anxious, but no, to my surprise, your coverage map showed that apparently my house and almost the whole of Ely was covered in glorious 3G but unfortunately no 4G. Not only was my area listed as having wonderful 3G but it was also said to have 3G indoors and outdoors - whooohooo I thought, I knew it. I could tell my daughter it was only a temporary problem and soon we would have 3G. Perhaps O2 were upgrading to 4G I told her. 

Day after day I would wake up, turn off the wireless and the dreaded gprs symbol would make it's appearance. Why don't you use wireless you ask? Glad you asked.. Well I do when I can but you see, because I am in a new area I don't know the roads very well and just the other day the trip to Milton - which is just 11 miles away and about 24 minutes on a good morning - took me about an hour with me driving through Suffolk and god knows where. Howcome you ask... Well, without 3/4G your precious and trusty GPS on your golden smartphone simply does not work with a "gprs" connection. It simply times out and no matter how much you may curse and moan it really does not help. You simple cannot get directions. I would hate to think what would happen in a medical emergency as I actually have no idea how to get to the closest hospital without directional aid from a GPS. 

So I turn to the forums for help. Could you please update your coverage map for the area of Ely to reflect that you have actually made a mistake and that for Ely and all the way up the A10 to Milton there is in fact no 3G, 2G, or Edge coverage and that the "gprs" symbol that you do show is actually for decoration purposes alone as it's pretty much useless. My daughter still wants to disown me and move back to Berkshire and my wife says it's microwave dinners until she can get 3G on her phone. 

As you can see it's a difficult situation for me. I love my daughter & wife and being Portuguese I really do like freshly cooked meals. I'd prefer not to move to one of the other networks, I've been with you through five generations of iPhone, travelled with you to all parts of the globe and you've never let me down - except for that time in South Africa where you surprised me with an £800+ bill when you charged me £8.00 per MB but I've forgiven you for that mishap. I'd like to stay, I've on occasion used Priority Pass and I've even got a Pizza for a Quid from Domino's which made me very happy. 

When you do update the map to show we only enjoy "gprs" coverage in Ely and surrounds please point out that the "gprs" symbol is only for decoration purposes as in reality it actually has no practical value and one day - hopefully in the new future - when you have time and lots and lots of money could I  beg you to help my home situation by placing some 4G towers in the area around Ely. I promise to tell all my work colleagues when you do and try and convince them to move to O2.

Sincerely

Malaguetas

[Cleoriff]

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@Anonymous wrote:

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@Cleoriff wrote:

Well I must have a very laid back Google as every time I type the word in...Google attempts to correct my spelling and tells me all about navigational...so I need enlightening

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@Cleoriff    It has taken a long time but I have finally seen the light and I have to admit that throughout I was reading the word as Navigational, rather than what is actually there, Nagivational.   My unconditional apologies.  I really must stop "skim reading" and learn to engage brain before replying to messages.

Gerry

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Apology appreciated @Anonymous ...though there was no need.

I had a very enlightening and productive time yesterday scouring many online dictionaries. I found words I had forgotten ever existed

[aldaweb]

 Your internal autocorrect working overdrive then @Anonymous  

[jonsie]

Thanks @Anonymous for removing 10 minutes from my already brief future life expectancy by the needless search of all online and cobweb covered Oxford New English Dictionary (Hardback) in a futile search for a word you assured me existed. :smileywink:

I think you now need to come up with a meaning for nagivational, introduce it to all the young people to get it into everyday use and then submit it to the Oxford dictionary people as a new buzz word! Once accepted and published please come back and update this thread !

[Anonymous]

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@jonsie wrote:

Thanks @Anonymous for removing 10 minutes from my already brief future life expectancy by the needless search of all online and cobweb covered Oxford New English Dictionary (Hardback) in a futile search for a word you assured me existed. :smileywink:

I think you now need to come up with a meaning for nagivational, introduce it to all the young people to get it into everyday use and then submit it to the Oxford dictionary people as a new buzz word! Once accepted and published please come back and update this thread !

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@Anonymous dear!  Very sorry @jonsie  I can't do right for doing wrong it seems.  But it is entirely reasonable that you should demand a meaning and I would suggest something along the lines of "Navigational from the verb To NAGIVATE , meaning "to irritate by scolding in the manner of electronic global positioning equipment better known as SATNAG"     Brighter wordsmiths than I may be able to expand - but sadly this is as far off-topic as I am prepared to go.

Gerry

[Anonymous]

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@aldaweb wrote:

 Your internal autocorrect working overdrive then @Anonymous  

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Hi @aldaweb    I don't think any of my systems are working normally this morning, never mind in overdrive.

[Beenherebefore]

Here's my suggestion

Nagivational : of or relating to the aimless wandering around the lesser known tourist destination of Nagi in the Katsuta District, Okayama Prefecture, Japan.

@Anonymous may want to suggest this to his daughter as an educational visit ??????

[jonsie]

Sounds like a future trip I need to broaden my education!:smileywink:

[Cleoriff]

Now that we have put Nagivation to bed....I shall attempt to navigate back on topic.

Poor @Anonymous is confused enough as it is, with no 3 or 4G, no cooked meals and a daughter ready to leave home ....At least our explanation will set his mind at rest that he has no need to nagivate around Ely...probably just navigating will get him to his destination...:smileywink:

[jonsie]

Ideal sat nagivation navigation here....no data connection required as maps are stored on the phone.

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.navfree.android.OSM.ALL&hl=en

https://itunes.apple.com/gb/app/navfree-gps-uk-roi-+-street/id391334793?mt=8

[Anonymous]

Some further examples of the word "Nagivatational" or it's derivatives

• The "One who must be obeyed" and generally sits next to me in the car when I drive is nagivationally inclined (implies nagging + directions) 
• I nagivated (offered nagging motivational direction) to my daughter that she would best be served by staying in Ely and not disowning me in exchange for us nagivating (give in to her nagging me to navigate) to the closest provider of decent 3G in Ely that at the same time as making her happy and getting her home safely, could relieve me of the need of the "One who must be obeyed" to constantly nagivate navigational instructions